Anna's Life...or something like it.

Because I Really Need Another Hobby...

2012-01-28T17:34:00.000-07:00

I mentioned the other day that I took a spinning class. One of the women in my knitting group hosted a class, and for $30 we got a bunch of roving (I think that's the right word...), a spindle, an instruction booklet, and a two hour class. Here's my spindle:

I'm so smart, so of course I forgot to take a picture of the roving before I started spinning it...oops. But here's the teeny batch I made during the class itself:

I wanted to practice more all week, but since it's something I'm very new to I didn't want to work on it until I had several hours to sit down and work on it, so for a little while the long days at work were translating to no practice time. Then I had to get a tetanus shot, and they tell you that your arm will be sore for a few days, but THEY LIE. My everything was sore for a few days. Especially my spinning arm. So I finally felt better last night, and after I got home and took a much-needed nap, I spun for several hours last night and came up with batch number two:

...which looks considerably crappier than batch number one...

I think I'm getting worse.

It's going to take quite a bit of practice before I'm any good at it. Once I get better at it I'll decide if it's something I want to keep trying and if it is, I'll look into buying a spinning wheel. Until then, I'm going to make baby batches of yarn until I'm sick of it.

In other yarning news, I finished a sock:

It's Pyroclastic from Knitty.com. I know it's hard to see the pattern in this picture, but it's very pretty and hugs my feet like a little bit of yarny heaven. I'm in the middle of the cuff for the second one, and then I really need to get started on a wedding shawl for a friend (off-white baby alpaca laceweight, oh yes!).

Story Time!

2012-01-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

Today at work I had a little accident.

I'm okay, don't worry!

Here's what happened:

In the fume hood at work we have these glass bottles with plastic pumps on the top that we use to dispense measured portions of acid. The one I keep concentrated nitric acid in was empty, and pretty filthy, so I (with gloves on) brought it over to the sink to rinse it off. I turned on the water, and started to rinse it, and the long plastic tube part of the pump-the part that goes to the bottom of the bottle-flipped upward and sprayed my face, neck, and arms with acid.

I immediately went into OH SHIT PANIC mode and started flushing myself with water (good thing the water was already running!). I flushed for a good five minutes before my shirt was soaking wet and so was my hair. At that point I let my boss know what happened, then went downstairs to the bathroom to keep flushing it with water. I flushed for another ten minutes or so, then went to report the accident to the production manager. We started filling out paperwork, and I was totally fine with keeping an eye on it and going about my day, but we all ended up deciding that I ought to go to WorkMed and make sure it was going to be okay.

So I went in and went straight to the front desk, and immediately said "I've gotten acid on my skin, you need to take me back NOW!" and they were like "YEAH." So we went in the back and immediately I had to disrobe and get into their therapy shower and two nurses hosed me down for another fifteen minutes. I would have complained about the water being freezing cold, but it actually felt really good on the burns!

After that I got changed into a hospital gown (so sexy) and they started putting antibiotic ointment all over the burns and started applying ice packs over that. Next I got a tetanus shot! Hooray! The I had to take a drug test, presumably to prove that I didn't get hurt while doing something stupid because I was high. I hen got some Advil for the swelling and I have to go back tomorrow to get checked on.

I took some pictures, but it's been a while and they don't look half so bad as when it first happened.

So here is the left side of my face, and it isn't really apparent in the picture, but the acid got all over this side of my face and chin (you can see that it's red all over). I also got a few bits on my forehead and next to my eye (but not IN my eye, thank goodness).

This one shows how swollen my lip is. It was the first place to start blistering and it still hurts even now.

The worst of it is on my neck.

I know it doesn't look very bad in the pictures, but you should see it in person. I just couldn't capture the color very well.

So that was my acid adventure.

I was really mad at myself, but I was wearing my safety equipment and I wasn't doing anything stupid, and frankly, one chemistry-related accident in eight years of chemistry-ing is a pretty damn good track record.

This did make me incredibly grateful that I was wearing my safety equipment, though, because my eyes and my hands are fine. NO KNITTING IMPAIRMENT. I freaking win.

Text Time 21

2012-01-23T17:39:00.000-07:00

Me: I'm going to try to get to Knit Night early today. We'll see if Chemistry cooperates...
N.: You bend Chemistry to your will!
Me: I try to every damn day and somehow it just doesn't work that way...

Me: I'm taking a spinning class tomorrow!
Mim: Let me know how it goes. They're supposed to yield amazing results.
Me: I meant with a spindle!
Mim: Oh!

(Because spinning classes are the devil's handiwork and making yarn is just awesome)

Kwiddens: What is it called when you misplace your doobie?
Me: What?
Kwiddens: A dislocated joint

Kwiddens: On a weird note, I'm going to write a book called "Fissures Of Men"
Me: Haha, about what?
Kwiddens: I haven't decided. I just like the pun.

Me: You know, if anyone ever went through my text messages, they'd find out more than they ever wanted to know about your and my bowel habits and sex lives...
Kwiddens: Haha right? It's almost like an anti-theft thing.

SO Grateful...

2012-01-05T14:38:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't been made aware, there was an incident last night in Ogden. Several police officers were shot and wounded severely, and one even died. The news has been buzzing about it all day.

It's all so sad. These men literally put their lives on the line to keep people safe. There's no higher calling, in my opinion, than being in the police force or the military.

And this is all I can think about today: I am SO grateful for Scott's asthma...

And here's why:

Scott's asthma is so severe that he has landed in the hospital for it several times. He'll be on a controller for the rest of forever and has to carry around an inhaler just in case. Most of the time it is totally under control, but it gets pretty bad sometimes, particularly when he gets sick.

Scott wanted to go into the military, to serve his country and protect its people. But they wouldn't take him because of his asthma. When he found this out, he wanted to become a police officer.

Scott is a very loyal, strong, protective person. If something threatens me, he jumps in and takes care of it, no matter what. He's protective of me emotionally, too. I love this.

He would have made an excellent police officer. And I would have been so proud of him. But because of a lot of different things, he ended up being a computer engineer, and he enjoys it most of the time, and I feel more secure about it.

But I'm just very very grateful that he ended up where he is, because I don't know what I'd do without him. I can't even imagine how it would feel to wonder every single morning whether he would be coming home from work or not. My heart goes out to the families of the police officers who were shot or killed.

In List Form

2011-12-30T18:38:00.000-07:00

1. No blogging for three weeks: blame SAD. If only the damn sun would come out...

2. I met PCL! I had a three-hour layover in Detroit on my way to Boston and we met up at the airport hotel restaurant. The food was delicious, the service semi-crappy, and the company awesome. I made her a scarf!

3. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. I got some wonderful gifts from some wonderful people. Lots of yarny gifts, too!

4. I have a massage scheduled for tomorrow morning. This is a Christmas present from Scott. I am SO excited!

5. I will now begin catching up on my blog reading. If I haven't left you comments in weeks, I'm really sorry. I'll get it done! Starting NOW!

Shirts (And Spanx) For Boston

2011-12-09T20:56:00.000-07:00

I have a trip to Boston planned around Christmas. Li's getting married! That plane ticket was SO expensive...

Anyway, I have only like two shirts that fit me (besides my tee-shirts) and I want to look presentable. My family doesn't care what I wear to holiday gatherings, but hers might. Besides, the last time she saw me I was about 50 pounds lighter, and I don't want to look as bad as I feel.

So I went into Macy's, and everything was on sale. Everything. That was a stroke of luck! Within ten minutes of starting to look around I found five shirts I wanted to try on, and two were cute and flattering and half off or more. Here they are:

They hide the pudge. Mostly.

I got a new phone and the pictures are terrible on it. This disappoints me greatly, since the camera on my last phone was nice and sharp.

Anyway, next I needed some shapewear. My bridesmaid dress fits me just fine, but my tummy does bulge a bit, so I was hoping to find something that would squish me in in the waist area and perhaps have a built-in strapless bra sort of situation, but Victoria's Secret was completely out of things in my size and had no idea when a shipment would come in. I leave in two weeks, so I'm running out of time.

Next I decided to try Target. I found the perfect generic brand Spanx sort of thing, so that's all taken care of (Thanks Sarah for the tip!), but then I went to try on a strapless bra and that's when the holy-crap-how-did-my-stomach-get-this-squishy-and-flabby panic hit, and I decided to call it a night and get the rest of what I needed tomorrow.

So. Tomorrow I need to find: a strapless bra, a nice coat (that doesn't smell like chemicals), and I was thinking a few more shirts but Kwiddens just texted me and said I could borrow some of her shirts, and the woman has amazing fashion sense, so I trust her to dress me completely. Seriously, what would I do without my Kwiddens?

I'm starting to feel better about this trip. And after all, it's more about Li and her wedding than about my looking good, so I really ought to forget about it.

(But I'll obsess over how I look anyway. It's just the way I am.)

Buster's Thanksgiving Feast

2011-12-05T19:55:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time a girl named Anna made the turkey for Thanksgiving dinner almost all by herself. Okay, not so much. But it ended up being the best turkey we've ever had!

The REAL star of the show is the brining mix I bought at Williams-Sonoma:

All I had to do is boil it until all the salts dissolved:

Then I let it cool a bit, poured it into the cooler outside on the deck (okay, so Scott did, since it was heavy and he's a strong man-type person), and then put the turkey inside (once again, Scott did the lifting):

We secured the cooler with bungee cords in case of raccoons:

Then we let it sit from Saturday night until Thursday (Thanksgiving) morning, checking every day to make sure it was still cool enough in there and adding ice when necessary.

THAT, my friends, is the secret to making the best turkey ever.

After we pulled it out, I rinsed it very thoroughly, put it in a roasting pan, completely covered it with foil, and roasted for several hours at a low temperature. Then I pulled it out of the foil, increased the temperature, stuck in a meat thermometer, and started basting it with melted butter every half hour until it was heated to the right temperature and nice and golden on the outside. Kwiddens helped quite a bit, too! Of course, I forgot to take a picture of the finished turkey...but it was pretty.

Now, Buster got his very own Thanksgiving feast, as well. The turkey came with a little packet of guts, of course, so we boiled them and then stripped the meat off the neck:

Buster was a very good boy and waited until we said it was okay to eat his treat:

And then we said "Okay!" and he ate them all in about a minute. I think he was pleased.

Also, the day of Thanksgiving, he got three cans of wet food instead of his normal dry food. Happy Thanksgiving, Buster!

And the tardiness of this post can be attributed to Seasonal Affective Disorder, which makes me want to lay in bed all day and hibernate.

Occupy...It's About Opportunity

2011-11-29T18:52:00.000-07:00

This whole Occupy movement has got me thinking lately.

Mostly, what comes to mind is what I said in this pos t.

Everything I said in that post about the work I've done is true.

But what I left out, and what I've been thinking about recently, is how amazingly lucky I was to have the opportunities to do the things I talked about.

How many people never even get a chance to get jobs to keep themselves out of debt through school? How many people have the resources necessary to do so well in school? How many people are offered the opportunity to apply for a full-tuition scholarship at a school with an incredibly prestigious program in their chosen field? How many people meet the right person to marry? How many people were in the position to take advantage of the $8,000 homebuyer's tax credit? How many people have health insurance that covers psychotropic medication, or even realize they need it? How many people can afford their medication, even with insurance?

What a lot of people who are "against" the movement don't realize is that life is pure shit for A LOT of people, and often, hard work can get you somewhere, but you've got to be somewhere to begin with.

I have so much. And yes, Scott and I work hard. But I was born in one of the most wonderful, safe countries in the world. This is a place where I have things protecting me and my rights: police, laws, and the right to have guns in my home. I was born to a woman who sacrificed so much to stay home with her kids, to teach them and give them every opportunity to learn possible. As poor as we were, I was born into a situation where I could choose my own destiny. And SO FEW people have that choice. Some people are just born with the short end of the stick, and no matter what they do or how hard they try, they will never be able to turn things around.

I am so thankful for what I have and the experiences I've had, both good and bad (because the crappy stuff teaches you life lessons that, it turns out, come in quite handy).

I realize everyone has different thoughts about the Occupy movement, and I respect that. The last thing I want to do is make a political statement or sweeping generalization that offends people or starts a huge debate. No, thank you! But I felt like I needed to share this. I hope that regardless of your stance on the Occupy movement you take a few minutes now and again to reflect on what all you do have, and be grateful that where you are is infinitely better than where some others have been...or still are, and perhaps always will be.

Hibernation

2011-11-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

Here's a quick, relatively worthless update:

Thanksgiving was great. My cooking worked!

Scott just had his epidural steroid injection. It won't help for two to four days according to the nurse, so we'll see what happens. He goes back in three weeks to see what the next step will be.

I wish I were hibernating.

The end.

Very Briefly...

2011-11-21T18:57:00.000-07:00

1. There is no point in trying to change your diet right before the holidays. I am an idiot.

2. I gave Buster the guts from our turkey this year (started brining it yesterday) and he just about DIED of gratitude.

3. My house is almost clean enough for Thanksgiving dinner.

4. I am cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I'll let you know if anyone ends up with food poisoning.

5. My knitting crap is everywhere, and I am okay with that.

Who Needs A Spine, Anyway?

2011-11-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

Who wants a medical update? You do? Well here you go:

Scott hurt his back.

He's actually been having back pain for years. He's been to see several different doctors, but so far everyone has just given him some Flexeril and Lorotab and then sent him on his way. One doctor even went so far as to take an x-ray, but when nothing showed up they gave up. So for years now he's strained it by working too hard, or sometimes just from sitting for a while, and he's just had to suck it up and deal.

November 1st was the day our new insurance plan took effect. The last time we had to change insurance plans, both the new and the old insurance plans were supported by the clinic where we usually went, so we didn't have to switch doctors. But this time, we had to go to a completely different clinic. This turned out to be a really good thing.

Keep in mind that the events I am about to recount were expected to take, at minimum, two or three weeks. PLEASANT SURPRISE.

I called Monday morning to set an appointment for Scott to see someone at the new clinic. Surprisingly, they had an appointment open for 11:00 a.m. So Scott went to the old clinic, had them print out our medical records, and then went to the new clinic for his appointment. The next thing I know, he was calling me to say they were taking x-rays now and this afternoon there would be an MRI! THAT QUICKLY, YES I KNOW.

So after the MRI, I had to go pick him up, because they gave him Valium so he wouldn't get stressed out inside the MRI machine, and OH BOY WAS HE STONED. I mean, like giggly stoned. It was hilarious!

So then we expected to wait a few days for results, right? Ha! They called within a few hours and were like "Hey, you have a bulged disc!" From zero to diagnosis in three hours. SO GOOD. So they said they had a doctor there who specialized in back injuries, so they would have him give us a call and we would go from there. Less than an hour later, guess who called?

Major brownie points to Tanner Clinic!

So the back doctor called and Scott has an epidural steroid shot scheduled for the 28th, and then we'll see what happens. It's looking like there will probably be a back surgery at some point, although we don't know when.

On The Doctor's Orders

2011-11-08T19:07:00.000-07:00

So Scott and I have decided to go low-carb. My doctor told me to, so before any of you start in about diets being bad, blah blah blah, just know that it was my doctor's suggestion in the first place. Besides, we intend to gradually add good carbs back in, and we're trying overall to be healthier. Doing this is forcing us to cook at home for every meal and really think about what we're putting into our bodies. We're also eating more vegetables. More vegetables never hurt anyone!

We'll do this for a few weeks (or maybe longer) to get a jump start on weight loss, and then we can add some fruits in for a few more weeks, and then some lentils and nuts (except Scott can't because he's allergic), and eventually we'll get to where we're adding in whole grain sorts of things. We want to do this for life. We want to get to where we're eating healthy foods out of habit, instead of eating out out of habit like we've been doing. I'm learning cooking skills, too! Like yesterday I cooked some chicken and nothing got burnt. It was AMAZING.

Tonight we cooked up a spaghetti squash, sauteed some mushrooms, and had a steak. We cooked extra of everything so that we would have some for lunches tomorrow (except the mushrooms...those don't reheat well, I'm guessing).

I had forgotten how much I did like fresh foods. We're very fortunate that we can afford to buy all of our vegetables (and eventually, fruits) fresh instead of canned. When I was growing up we were so poor that canned fruits and vegetables were all we could afford. No wonder I didn't like them!

I really hope that by giving up processed sugars, white breads, rice, and potatoes, and sugary drinks I can break some of these deeply ingrained food addictions. I don't know if I can. I tried once before, and I failed miserably. But this time Scott is doing it with me, so I think with the extra support from him it's going to be a lot easier than trying to do it alone.

The cool thing is, Mim is doing it too, so we're going to have a low-carb Thanksgiving dinner. If you think about it, mostly what we'll be giving up is the mashed potatoes. I can live without those.

I'll have to take a few days off when I go to Boston for Li's wedding, because it's hardly fair to ask someone to accommodate a weird diet while they're having a wedding, but after that I'll get right back on track.

I'm trying not to think of this as a temporary "diet", but more of stepping stones on the path to healthy eating for life. There seem to be so many social events with food that it seems overwhelming to have to start saying "no" to things, but I'm hoping that with time it will get easier. I think I've been using these social events as an excuse to eat poorly.

Also, as I learn to cook things so they are actually delicious and not burnt or weird or disgusting I'm hoping that will make it easier, as well. The internet is full of recipes, and I intend to use them!

Kwiddens Makes Amazing Cookies, Too

2011-11-05T20:20:00.000-06:00

Dearest Kwiddens,

Yesterday was your birthday. I SUCK AT LIFE, so I didn't write about it yesterday, but here you go!

Yesterday we all met at a restaurant and had dinner together. You were telling such fun stories that the waitress kept coming over and laughing with us. That is the kind of person you are, Kwiddens: the kind who makes everyone laugh, and at nobody else's expense (that they know of, anyway...*evil grin*). That's an admirable quality.

Lots of things have been happening lately, both good and bad. I call you and tell you the good things, and you laugh and tell me how awesome it is that I have happy things in my life. I call you to complain about the bad things (or bad people...) and you just let me rant, and then agree with me that shit sucks sometimes. Also, you don't think I'm a total bitch when I talk smack about someone who is bugging me. Or maybe you do. Either way, you don't say I'm a bitch. That's what a good sister does.

This is a picture of you and me together in the poodle skirts Grandma made for us:

I can't even believe it's so long since we took that picture! Even now that we're grown, I'd still wear an ugly-ass skirt and hold your hand (just not in public)!

I love you so much I don't even know how to tell you. When I see you sad my heart breaks into pieces. I want your happiness more than I want my own. You're the best sister and friend I could ever have, and I forgive you for everything you've ever done to me, like that one time you threw a dead spider on me but told me it was alive and I screamed and punched you and we both got in huge trouble. Or that one time that you stole my underwear, and then when you bent over at school I said "You're wearing my underwear!", not realizing that the boy I had a crush on was in the room. Or that one time that you read my journal and made fun of me for having a crush on James Bacon. Ha!

Kwiddens, I wish you realized how much you are worth as a person. At least ten dollars. Maybe fifteen. Just kidding! HOW ABOUT A ZILLION? That's not even a real number, it's so big. But really. You are a beautiful and brilliant young woman, and an amazing momma, and a devoted sister and daughter, and you are really good at lots of things, like putting on mascara perfectly and making the world's most delicious carrot cake. You work hard all the time and you deserve health and happiness (and lots of chocolate).

I hope this year is better than the last. You better text me every damn day. I need my Kwiddens fix. I'm about as dependent on it as I am on having three cups of coffee every morning, and that's really saying something. Even when you're miserable you make me laugh so hard with the way you tell your stories: with funny faces and hilarious impressions and everything. And when you text me I imagine you in my head, making the same faces. Sometimes I laugh out loud at work after reading a message you've sent me and people look at me like I'm on crack. It's awesome.

I love you more than I love candy and cookies, and cashmere yarn, and my electric blanket, and Dr. Pepper...the list could go on forever, you know. I appreciate everything you do for me and say to me and how supportive you are of me, even when I'm a total brat.

I love you forever. THE END.

Love,
Anna Banana

Frederick Was A Hit!

2011-11-02T17:37:00.000-06:00

Scott has spliced together a video with some of our Halloween stuff this year:

Here's the sad bit: we borrowed a night vision security camera from Scott's company and had it set up so we could record kids' reactions...but somehow it didn't record the whole night and missed the very best parts, such as the part where Scott jumped out from the fog and scared the crap out of some kids, one of whom screamed and ran away down the street. Yes. So this video is some of the other pictures and videos we took.

Kids are so cute on Halloween. One kid (five years old or so) saw the full-size candy bars and said "Where have you been all my life?!" Another, my friend L.'s kid (two year old girl) said "Bye, scary!" as she walked away like it was her friend.

At one point during the night we saw some people walk up to Frederick and have people take pictures of them with him. AWESOME.

So new things we added since last year:

Frederick
Ghost in the front window (black lights and white tulle)
Creepy cloth on the front door and up the walkway
Orange lights across the front of the garage
Moss on the tombstones
Flashing lights with thunder sound effects

Next year we're thinking about building a creepy tunnel the kids have to go through to get to the door. We'll see what we come up with!

Quick rant: when I was a kid and we went trick-or-treating, we went to each house and got one small piece of candy. We hit lots of houses so we could end up with a large stash. ONE PIECE. So we handed out full-size candy bars, right? Several kids had the stones to ask, "How many can I have?" or "Can I take two?"

Greedy little bastards.

Video Editing Takes Time!

2011-11-01T16:08:00.000-06:00

Halloween 2011 was a smashing success. We're working on a video. It may take a few days, but it'll be worth the wait!

Text Time 20

2011-10-28T21:23:00.000-06:00

Jorg: I hope you're having a good day!
Me: Um...mostly. I just ran out of Argon again.
Jorg: How crucial is Argon? Are your machines working?
Me: Nope.
Jorg: Typical!
Me: I know! The Universe is being all tricksy...
Jorg: It's probably Loki.

K: Is it still okay if I bring my kid over tonight for you to babysit?
Me: Yep! We'll grab a keg or two and invite some bikers and hookers over. PARTY TIME.
K: Wait...will you babysit me too?

Kwiddens: Isaac's mom is cleaning in preparation for Isaac's dad's birthday dinner. Grunting and groaning. I refuse to help because I don't respond to grunts.

Me: Maybe I can has cheeseburger for lunch if I eat just green beans for dinner...
Kwiddens: Why don't you have a cheeseburger and then a normal dinner and take a walk?
Me: Mebbe.
Kwiddens: That way you're not depriving yourself and your body won't be like WTF?!
Me: Haha, my body's always like WTF!

Kwiddens: I think there should be certain services available to perioding women
Me: Such as?
Kwiddens: Somebody who will bring you pain meds, ice cream, whatever foods you're craving, do chores for you, etc.
Mim: On call firing squads w/ pickup duty...

Open Letters 3

2011-10-26T17:50:00.000-06:00

Dear Blog,

Why aren't you more fun to write? Probably because my life is boring right now. But don't worry; Halloween is coming up and there's always a post about that, and Scott is talking about starting the basement this weekend, so there will be many posts about that as well.

Love,
Your Pathetic, Boring BlogMama

Dear Scott,

I can't even tell you how proud I am of you and all the amazing things you know how to do. You're downstairs right now making blueprints to submit to the city to get a builder's permit so we can finish the basement, and I can't be more pleased. We've been saving for many months and I think we're ready to take the plunge. Besides, Jorg still owes us several hours of work, so we might as well milk that for all it's worth! It'll be awesome to have that finished so we can then get all the flooring put in. We'll be one step closer to having a real house with walls and floors and everything! I'll try to help as much as I can, and I'm sure you'll teach me lots of new things about how things should be built.

Love forever,
Wifie (Who Will Have An Actual Laundry Room)

Dear New Coffeemaker,

I bought you because I realized how much money I was spending on coffee every morning, and how many paper or plastic coffee cups were going into the garbage, and how it's quite obvious that I've become a daily coffee drinker. You only cost me about $20. I picked you over the $14 coffee maker because you make five cups instead of three, and you're black and stainless steel like the rest of the appliances in my kitchen. You're super fast and I can program you to make coffee while I shower in the morning. I even bought two kinds of coffee to try out and some of that fancy flavored creamer. Throw some Stevia in and I'm a happy, caffeinated morning person (almost). You even make my house smell good in the morning (though Scott doesn't appreciate the smell like I do, so he might hold a grudge against you, but don't worry, it's nothing personal).

Thanks for waking me up,
Caffeinated Anna

Dear Frederick The Animatronic Skeleton,

Why don't you just dress yourself? I mean, I just don't want to do it. I will, though. I have until Monday. But I better have it done before that, because we need to be able to troubleshoot if something doesn't work out. I just really don't appreciate that you've been standing in my living room, staring at me while I do other projects. Glaring at me isn't going to make me pay attention to you!

Love,
Someone Who Sucks At Sewing

Dear Kwiddens,

I can't even believe how amazing you are. I needed you desperately and you came through for me. Li's wedding is in December and I needed a bridesmaid dress...you know how I get when I shop for clothes. It gets ugly. Hyperventilating ensues. But you saved me, and the most amazing thing is that you found me a dress, a shrug, and shoes, all in the space of about four hours, and all for under $200. YOU. ARE. AMAZING. You even helped me find a dress that flatters my figure. Now all I have to do is find a bustier sort-of-thing to squish my fat into a more appealing shape, and voila, I'll be super hot and ready to go. I owe you big time.

Love,
Your Chubby (And Now, Less Anxious) Sister

P.S. Can you help me figure out how to put makeups on my face? I'm a little rusty...

Why Is Life So Complicated?

2011-10-18T07:50:00.003-06:00

So yesterday I mentioned that I had been crying the day before. Yay. I feel like I want to talk about why, and who better to talk to about personal issues than the internet?

So when I was younger I kept a diary off and on, but for the longest time I didn't because Kwiddens used to read my diary and tease me about the boys I wrote about liking. James Bacon, 5th grade. Yes, his name was Bacon. THANKS, KWIDDENS (Just kidding. I love you more than puppies, and yarn, and ice cream!). Anyway, I stopped writing for a long time.

But Kwiddens didn't. She wrote down a lot of the things we went through when we were younger.

On occasion, here on this little blog, I've mentioned a rotten childhood. Many, many factors went into this, but one of them was having a mother who was bipolar, but didn't know she was, and so wasn't taking medication for it.

I feel it's important to explain something: I DO NOT BLAME MIM FOR ANY OF THIS. She knew there was a problem. She went to psychiatrist after psychiatrist, and tried SO MANY medicines, and nobody saw that beneath the depression and anxiety there was bipolar disorder, which was the biggest problem of all. Mim did everything she could to try to make it better, but what was she supposed to do when none of her doctors could figure it out? In fact, if I want to blame anyone, I could blame Jason, because, as a psychiatrist, HE SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT. Maybe he didn't because he never came home, or because he spent all his time giving us all the silent treatment. I don't know. But I really think he should have figured it out.

But here's the truth: she would totally lose it. And I'd have to deal with the consequences. I feel jealous that Em and Jorg didn't have it as badly as Kwiddens and I did (there's a five year age difference between Kwiddens and Em), because when I sensed her mood swings coming on, I was able to get Em and Jorg out of the house, thereby shielding them a bit from the worst of it.

I don't want to go into specifics about things she did to us (not yet, anyway...maybe some other time), but Kwiddens wrote a lot of it down in her diary.

When Mim's new psychiatrist realized what was going on, he put her on Lamictal, which led to me getting on it, and it changed both of our lives for the better. For the best, really...

Part of the healing process has been not only medical, but emotional. There was a point when I never wanted to talk to or see Mim ever again. I was hurt that badly. But these past four years in particular, we've bonded over so many things, and while we did, we've talked over a lot of things.

She knows that sometimes I get angry because of the things I've been through, and sometimes I'm angry at her, but I still don't blame her. When I remember something that happened, I tell her about it, not to make her feel guilty, but because she honestly doesn't remember the things that happened, and she wants to be aware of what happened. It's the same with Kwiddens. And through this process, we've all made progress in leaps and bounds. We're all still quite broken, but we're getting there.

Anyway, so the day before yesterday Mim was at Kwiddens's house, and they were looking through some of Kwiddens's old diaries. After she left, Mim called me and of course, she was crying, and she apologized again for the way things were. She told me that she would be proud of me even if I'd come from a perfect family and home life, but with the way things were, she was just extraordinarily proud of how far I've come. She reiterated how much she loved Scott and how happy she was that I have him. I told her again that I knew it wasn't her fault and that I love her so much. The whole thing made me cry.

And then, when I was snappy with Scott, I was crying because sometimes I'm terrified that my mood swings will get out of control and I'll ruin this amazing thing Scott and I have.

Terrified.

Mixed Nuts

2011-10-17T15:47:00.000-06:00

Frederick (animatronic skeleton) is almost done. The mechanism that moves his head around is done, and the cauldron-stirring mechanism is done, but hasn't been tested with a creepy-looking stick yet. I need to dress him, but I'm not quite sure what to do...I bought some brown burlap that I intend to shred up a bit and line with black tulle so you can't see through it for a creepy cloak-like thingy. I think I need to go back to Hobby Lobby to get some plain black fabric to use to cover his front. The trick will be making it look real without impeding the motion of the arms or head.

I finished my green sweater! I haven't washed and blocked it yet, so no picture, but I'll get it done eventually. Here's the thing...I'm not sure I like the waist, and I'm tempted to rip it out and redo it. I think I'll bring it to knit night and ask the ladies what they think.

I'm back to working seven hours a day again! I am ECSTATIC about this.

There's a pattern trending called the Beekeeper's Quilt, and it's knit out of tiny little hexagonal units called "hexipuffs" (YES, IT'S THAT CUTE). My knitting group has decided we're all going to knit some and put them all together to make a quilt and then donate it.

Since I've finished my sweater (unless I decide to change it...), I've pulled out my pink/red/purple Babette blanket again. I'll make another quarter of it before I start any new projects (hexipuffs excluded, since that's a group project).

I made a tuna sandwich the other night. Don't ask me why; I usually don't care for tuna. I just got this weird craving (and no, I'm not pregnant. I'm just a weirdie.). In order to make it tastier, I added Ranch dressing seasoning into the mix, and HOLY YUM THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA. Do it. Do it now.

Kwiddens: Do you ever look in the mirror and think "I look hideous"?
Me: All day long.
Kwiddens: I effing hate it. I feel like Helga. Pronounced with a phlegm.

I snapped at Scott yesterday without even realizing it, and I hurt his feelings, and I didn't mean to, and I felt so bad I started crying (although to be honest, that wasn't the only thing I was crying about), but Scott reassured me (while I apologized profusely), saying "Even if all you ever did was snap at me, I'd still love you, and I'd still have it better than 99% of guys out there." Because he's an angel.

I'm craving ice cream AGAIN. And the other day I was craving fried chicken, which is something I've never had a craving for before (except directly following Popeye's commercials).

Damn. Now I want Popeye's. The only one around here is on the Air Force base, though, so I'd have to convince my friend with a husband in the Air Force to go get it for me...

Text Time 19

2011-10-14T16:11:00.000-06:00

Kwiddens: I hate PHS.
Me: ?
Kwiddens: Pissy Husband Syndrome
Me: LOL I love you!
Kwiddens: Tee hee

Mim: Even the tutors in the math lab say "Times it by 4".
Me: That's so gross.
Mim: I don't know how much more I can take.

Scott: Sorry...
Me: For?
Scott: That you don't feel well and that I am a bad hubby
Me: You are a wonderful hubby!
Scott: Maybe it is the painkillers
Scott: Sorry...I feel like...a bad hubby...not hanging with you

(Scott gets overly apologetic when he takes narcotics...)

Kwiddens: I had to stop Rachel from putting a finger of melted ice cream in Nyah's mouth just now.
Me: Come over. Bring Nyah baby. I promise I won't put things in her mouth ;)
Kwiddens: Haha, okie.

Me: I don't know what to get E and J for Christmas
Mim: Coal
Me: Are they being bad?
Mim: Not necessarily
Me: Ok.

Yarn Hop 2011

2011-10-13T07:39:00.001-06:00

My knitting group organized a whole day of yarny goodness a few weekends ago. We had hoped for a better turnout than we had (only six of us went), but we all had a great time anyway! We visited eight yarn stores in the Salt Lake area. I like to support local businesses when I can, so I wanted to get a little something from each shop, but I only found stuff I wanted at six of them. Well, that's not entirely true. I did see things I wanted at every shop. But I was trying to be good, and I knew Scott was watching the bank account online while we were shopping...

When we got to the first yarn shop on our list, it was still a few minutes until they would be open, but what do you know, there was a bakery right next door. I had the best cinnamon roll I've ever had. It was mouthwateringly good! We also stopped in the middle of the day and had lunch at this cute little shop where I had a most delicious chicken caesar wrap and an Italian soda. And we all had coupons for it!

All together I ended up spending about $180, so I think I won't even let myself look at more yarn for a while...but look, I took pictures of all my new pretties!

This one is a muted peach/purple color. I never thought peach and purple would go together, but since they're so muted it works well. I'm thinking socks here.

I saw the sparkles and I couldn't help myself. Scarf, probably, maybe a gift for someone.

This is such springy sock yarn, and it's less orange and more pink than it looks on this picture.

This one is a skein that matches a blue one that one of my knitting friends bought, so we decided we'd do a sock KAL (knit-a-long) together with it! We haven't picked a pattern yet.

This is made of bunnies, and was half off.

These have some alpaca and silk in them, so they're super soft. Plus they were on sale.

And I had to get some Noro on sale. It's laceweight. I have no idea what I'll use it for, but it's going to be gorgeous!

And there goes my yarn budget for A WHILE. I need to find some special yarn for a wedding shawl I plan on making for a dear friend, but other than that I think I will try not to buy any more yarn this year. TRY.

Week Six: The End!

2011-10-12T07:10:00.001-06:00

Monday 10/3
My computer was still not connected to the network.
The part for the ICP-OES came, but didn’t fit properly, so ICP-OES was still down. Coworker used ICP-MS as backup again.

Tuesday 10/4
I got a new computer!
ICP-OES still down. Coworker still using ICP-MS as backup.

Wednesday 10/5
Three men working on ICP-OES all at once, but they still don’t get it fixed. Coworker used ICP-MS as backup again.

Thursday10/6
ICP-OES fixed!

Friday 10/7
The end!

Keep in mind that the entire time C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS was down, Coworker was running all of their mineral assay tests as well. CRAZY. Both of us were putting in major overtime.

Some of our outside clients were okay with heavy metals results on the ICP-OES, but the majority just waited until our ICP-MS was back up, leaving me with a giant pile of samples that had accumulated over two weeks. Catching up was a BITCH.

But it's over!

Week Five: A Zen State

2011-10-11T07:10:00.003-06:00

Monday 9/26
O.P.P. 34, C.I.D.H.F. 30, Other 11, TOTAL 75
Argon wasn’t delivered until 12:30 p.m.
Once we got Argon, the ICP-OES wouldn’t start up. REALLY. Service engineers couldn’t come until Tuesday. Coworker used ICP-MS as backup, which put me a bit behind.
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down.

Tuesday 9/27
O.P.P. 24, C.I.D.H.F. 5, Other 22 TOTAL 51
Technician came to work on ICP-OES. He had to order parts, so couldn't complete the repair. Coworker used ICP-MS as backup again.
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down.

Wednesday 9/28
O.P.P. 25, C.I.D.H.F. 19, Other 4, TOTAL 48
ICP-OES still down, waiting for parts.
Coworker was using ICP-MS for backup still, so I had to run my outside samples the next morning.
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down.

Thursday 9/29
O.P.P. 32, C.I.D.H.F. Fixed (0)!, Other 9, TOTAL 41
We bought a new HPLC, and to make room for it, so Coworker was moved into my office. In the process, my computer lost all access to the network, our databases, and the internet.
ICP-OES still down, waiting for parts.
Coworker still using ICP-MS for backup, so I had to run my outside samples the next morning (again).
At least C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS is working now. ABOUT FREAKING TIME.
Friday 9/30
O.P.P. 17, Other 6, TOTAL 23 (Happy Friday!)
My computer was still not connected to the network.
ICP-OES still down, waiting for parts.
Coworker still using ICP-MS for backup.

To be continued...

(Only one more...)

Week Four: At This Point It's Funny

2011-10-10T10:51:00.000-06:00

Monday 9/19
O.P.P. 20, C.I.D.H.F. 54, Other 17, TOTAL 91
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down.

Tuesday 9/20
O.P.P. 26, C.I.D.H.F. 27, Other 6, TOTAL 59
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down.

Wednesday 9/21
O.P.P. 19, C.I.D.H.F. 32, Other 3, TOTAL 54
Had to make and run a longer method to include another metal (added an extra 20 minutes to the calibration).
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down.

Thursday 9/22
O.P.P. 20, C.I.D.H.F. 24, Other 8, TOTAL 52
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down.

Friday 9/23
O.P.P. 31, C.I.D.H.F. 32, Other 5, TOTAL 68
Ran out of Argon partway through my run. Both ICP-MS and ICP-OES run on Argon. Praxair couldn’t come until Monday, so we were just stuck. Some of our testing was left undone.
C.I.D.H.F. receives the part they were waiting for for their ICP-MS. They install it and it immediately breaks. Go freaking figure.

To be continued...

(There are only two left. Bear with me.)

Week Three: Really?!

2011-10-09T09:50:00.003-06:00

Monday 9/12
O.P.P. 35, C.I.D.H.F. 54, Other 29, TOTAL 118 ARE YOU SERIOUS
Our ICP-MS was fixed late in the day (YAY!).
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down. Samples run on our ICP-MS overnight, now that it was working.

Tuesday 9/13
O.P.P. 29, C.I.D.H.F. 26, Other 7, TOTAL 62
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down.

Wednesday 9/14
O.P.P. 33, Other 3, TOTAL 36
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down (but they didn't send any samples this day).

Thursday 9/15
O.P.P. 18, C.I.D.H.F. 5 (4 already dissolved), Other 6, TOTAL 29
I went home sick halfway through the day.
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down.

Friday 9/16
O.P.P. 23, TOTAL 23
I was home sick all day. My boss didn't run any samples from other clients (so left them all for Monday...).
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down.

So the middle of this week was relatively normal...and then I got sick.

To be continued...yet again.

Week Two: The Saga Continues

2011-10-08T09:45:00.001-06:00

If you find these too tiring (or just boring or dumb) you can skip them. I won't be offended, I promise! Mostly, I wanted to chronicle this for myself. Oh, happy memories!

Monday 9/5
Day Off! Sat at home worrying about work the next day…

Tuesday 9/6
O.P.P. 17, C.I.D.H.F. 2 (rush testing), TOTAL 19 SAMPLES
ICP-MS computer fixed, but then the plasma wouldn't light! I called tech support and they had to schedule a service visit. The Technician couldn't come for two days.
C.I.D.H.F.'s ICP-MS went down. They needed two samples rushed, so we ran them on our backup method overnight on the ICP-OES along with my regular samples.

Wednesday 9/7
O.P.P. 21, C.I.D.H.F. 2 (rush testing), TOTAL 23 SAMPLES
I missed this day due to a family emergency.
Since the ICP-MS was down, my boss had to run the Hg tests on the DMA, but the data wasn’t saved (wonderful IT guys came in and rebooted the computer without saving) and I had to retest all of them the next day.
Our ICP-MS still down, so my samples were run overnight on the ICP-OES again.
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down, needed 2 rushed on ICP-OES.

Thursday 9/8
O.P.P. 20, C.I.D.H.F. 85 (already dissolved), Other 14 (2 sent out, retested later), TOTAL 105 SAMPLES HOLY CRAP
ICP-MS technician came. Had to order parts. My samples were run overnight on ICP-OES again.
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down. Samples run on our ICP-OES backup method.

Friday 9/9
O.P.P. 22, Other 8, TOTAL 30 SAMPLES
ICP-MS parts arrived, but technician could not complete repairs in time. My samples were run overnight on the ICP-OES.
C.I.D.H.F.’s ICP-MS still down.

To be continued...yet again.

Week One: So It Begins...

2011-10-07T11:39:00.002-06:00

Thursday 9/1
O.P.P. 24, Other 8 (8 were later sent out to another lab for testing, but the results came back high so I ended up re-testing them later anyway), TOTAL 32 SAMPLES
Our ICP-MS computer wouldn’t boot up. My samples were run on the ICP-OES after Coworker completed his work on it, so I didn’t have results until the next morning.

Friday 9/2
O.P.P. 28, Other 8 (6 sent out, re-tested later), TOTAL 36 SAMPLES
No word from IT department about ICP-MS computer. My samples run overnight on the ICP-OES again.

Now, if things are working properly, 32 or 36 samples is not a big deal. When you're using backup methods, however, it makes things take a lot longer than they usually would.

To be continued...

(I broke this saga up into several posts because it looks like a maze all together in one place. Breaking it down by weeks makes it SO much easier!)
(Plus then I have posts for several days...)

September: The Month That Wouldn't End

2011-10-06T17:19:00.001-06:00

First, in order for you all to understand what a month September has been for me, I’ll outline how my job usually works. I’m sorry if this is all too technical, but in order to understand why September was so sucky, you’re going to have to bear with me. I'm color-coding a few things to help you keep it all straight.

Usually I come in in the morning and start weighing out samples for testing. From Our Production Plant (O.P.P.) we usually get somewhere between 15 and 35 samples (sometimes more or less) for heavy metals testing. From Company I Do Hg For (C.I.D.H.F.) (Hg=Mercury), I usually get between 10 and 25 samples for Hg testing only (again, sometimes more or less) (and during this whole series of posts, I won't be talking much about the Hg samples). From other outside clients, I usually get 10 samples or so (but there’s the occasional client who will send me 20+ all at once, bless their hearts…). So, on a usual day, we’re talking between 25 and 60 samples for heavy metals testing and 10 to 25 samples for Hg testing (but these aren't very important in the story to come). Remember these numbers.

Normally, I run Hg on my DMA (Direct Mercury Analyzer). If this instrument is down due to either malfunction or regular maintenance, I can use my ICP-MS (Inductively Coupled Plasma-Mass Spectrometer). If I’m not there, then for simplicity’s sake my boss just runs Hg on the ICP-MS (and doesn’t do any testing for our outside clients unless it’s a rush). If the ICP-MS is down, then we just can’t do Hg testing (well, technically we could do it on the ICP-OES (Inductively Coupled Plasma-Optical Emission Spectrometer) but it takes two days to prep the samples for that method, and then there’s a special equipment setup…basically, it’s a pain in the ass). For other heavy metals testing, I usually use my ICP-MS. If this instrument is down, we have a backup method on our ICP-OES that works for most of our own products. There are a few interferences, so for the samples that don’t work on the ICP-OES that we really need results on ASAP, we usually send these samples over to C.I.D.H.F. and since our companies are friends, they will run those few samples for us on their own ICP-MS, and when their instrument is down, they send us their samples, so it’s a you-scratch-my-back-I’ll-scratch-yours sort of thing. Also important: Coworker runs mineral assays on the ICP-OES. When it’s down, the ICP-MS is the backup for his testing.

Calibration on my normal ICP-MS run usually takes about 50 minutes (sometimes more or less, depending on the method I need to run for the day), and after that each sample takes about 3.75 minutes to run. Every ten samples, I need to run a QC (quality control) sample (or two, or three, depending on the method) and a blank.

So let’s say I’m having a totally average day and I have 40 samples for heavy metals testing. That’s 50 minutes for calibrating, 150 minutes for samples, and 45 minutes for QCs and blanks. 245 minutes = roughly 4 hours. If I start my run around 10:30 a.m., I can get off of work at a normal time. I usually work 7 hours a day. Most days, I don't have to share the ICP-MS with anyone, or I can at least finish all of my work before anyone else needs it. If I absolutely need to, I can let it run many, many more samples overnight.

And that’s how life normally is in my lab.

To be continued…

Open Letters 2

2011-10-04T17:35:00.001-06:00

Dear IT Guy,

Thank you for taking three and a half days to get my computer connected back in to the network at my lab. I spent the duration using other people's computers to do things I should have been able to do on my own, much more quickly, without waiting for others to be done with what they were doing.
Also, thank you for deleting three years' worth of emails. I have now lost all of my contact information for the other companies I work with and lots of things I can't even think of right now.
Thanks, however, for Windows 7. Pretty fancy, I suppose.

Love,
A Slightly Peeved Employee

Dear Pinky Finger On My Left Hand,

Somehow, in the middle of the night, the nail ripped right off of you. I tried to get back to sleep, but it kept hurting, and then it felt all warm and sticky...I went to the bathroom and put a band-aid and some of the fancy pain-relieving Neosporin on it, and went back to sleep. All freaking day I kept bumping it against stuff, which hurt pretty badly. Oh well. I'll live.

Love,
Someone Who Might Not Knit For A Few Days...Sigh...

Dear Scott,

Thanks for using all the fingertip bandages. Also, I really hope you get better soon. Being sick super sucks.

Love,
Someone With An Ill-Fitting Regular Bandage On Her Left Pinky

Dear McDonald's Employee,

I asked for the size fries that comes with Monopoly pieces. If I'm going to spend the money and rot my arteries, I want the damn Monopoly pieces. If I didn't win a million dollars today because of you, I'm going to key your car.

Love,
A Customer Who Thinks You Should Do Your Job Better

Dear Kwiddens,

Last time you asked me to write you a letter. Here's a letter!
Kwiddens, you and your friendship (and sistership! if that's even a word...) mean so much to me, you just don't even know. My emotions, as you know, can be quite volatile, and it makes things oh so interesting, but no matter what's going on I can always count on you to be there for me, whether I need a rant or a hug or a freaking ginormous ice cream cone.
I hate that you live 40 minutes away from me (and that's if traffic isn't too bad) and I love The Bebby, but I hate that your being a mommy puts limits on our time together. I suggest she age a few years THIS MINUTE and you move five minutes away from me RIGHT NOW.
I also suggest that we become wizards.

Love,
Sistafwend!

WAY After The Fact, But...

2011-09-30T07:51:00.000-06:00

In an effort to give myself a little jump start into posting more often, I've been going through old drafts for posts that I never got around to actually writing.

I found this one from back in October, before we put in the kitchen cabinets. A little bit later (ahem), I'm posting it anyway.

Part of what makes renovations so chaotic is having to move everything around and cover everything up to keep it from dying of exposure to dust and such. We went to thrift stores and bought a ton of ugly old sheets for this purpose:

At this point, I can't count the number of times our living room (or another room, for that matter) has looked like this.

After we had ordered the new cabinets, we prepped the kitchen so that we could put them in as soon as they were delivered. There was so much involved in this process: building the new wall, reconfiguring plumbing, repairing drywall, filling in the old door...so for a few weeks this was our entire kitchen setup:

We ate out A LOT for those few weeks...

Here's just one example of bad plumbing that we had to fix:

Remember how our house was built by monkeys? Yeah. Who puts plumbing outside the wall? Monkeys, that's who.

And, at last, our sink became useless, so we had to do everything upstairs in the bathroom:

The end...only about 11 months late...

5,000 Questions: Part 4

2011-09-28T08:13:00.001-06:00

61. Do you believe in Hell?
Absolutely. I've been there. It's being trapped inside your own mind.

62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't?
Dated a murderer.

63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done?
I try to do kind things as often as I can think of them. It seems to be a good way to live my life. Nothing specific comes to mind.

64. Are you a patient person?
Most of the time. I tend to lose my patience (at least, inside my head) around willfully ignorant people.

65. What holiday should exist but doesn't?
National Take Klonopin And Eat Ice Cream Day

66. What holiday shouldn't exist but does?
Arbor Day. Does anybody know anyone who actually does anything for that day?

69. Is your hair natural or dyed?
I've dyed it but the color seems to have mostly faded, so it's just a brighter version of my own color. I think. I'm not entirely sure what my real color is...

70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front?
I'm very upfront with people whom I can trust completely, if they actually ask questions about my deep, dark secrets. Otherwise, I keep certain things to myself.

71. What is under your bed right now?
A pillow and probably some socks and I think my gym shoes are under there...

72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home?
Go home. I'm such a homebody.

73. If you drive do you frequently speed?
I try hard not to, but everyone around here is hell-bent to get where they're going, so it's easy to lose track of how fast I'm going.

74. What is the world's best song to dance to?
Um...anything by Shakira?

75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone?
I dance in the car all the time. By myself.

77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo?
I always love to see the...everything! I love animals!

78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic?
On occasion. Most of the time I'm practical.

79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off?
No. Gravity, bitches!

80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it?
Hang with Scott (or Em or Jorg or Mim OR ESPECIALLY KWIDDENS). If you're looking for a more materialistic answer, then knitting.

Text Time 18

2011-09-26T07:25:00.000-06:00

Me:

Mim: G's are expensive...

Me: My back is killing me. I think a quesadilla would cure me.
Kwiddens: I think cake, chips, ice cream, pizza, etc. would help me!

Em: I wish there were a degree in calling other people stupid.
Me: That would be EPIC.
Em: I could have a doctorate in six years easily.
Me: Way more quickly than that, I think!
Em: No kidding.

Me: Thanks for calling in that scrip for me. My bladder sincerely thanks you!
Dad: No, I was just commenting on the appearance of your cats, wondering how they possibly ended up that way.
Me: I am SO confused.
Dad: Sorry, wrong person. In the middle of some friendly flaming.
Me: Okay, well, thanks for the antibiotics! :)

Me: What do you want to name your new computer?
Coworker For Whom Scott Built A New Computer: Computer, I don't care. Or Optimus.
Me: ...Optimus Prime? :)
C.F.W.S.B.A.N.C.: Yeah, then maybe it will come alive.

Fiber Fair FTW (And Something For Mim)

2011-09-24T08:43:00.000-06:00

So a few weeks back I mentioned going to the Great Basin Fiber Arts Fair with a yarny friend. I never really posted about it!

We headed down to Salt Lake in the morning and walked around...in only about an hour. It was MUCH smaller than we thought it was going to be, and aimed more at spinners than knitters. There was some yarn, however. Some very pretty yarn!

I picked up this skein of handspun mohair with a bit of something sparkly in it:

It's only 87 yards, so my options for its use are limited, but I Could. Not. Resist. The. Shiny. (This picture sucks. I took it in the middle of the night.)

I also picked this up:

This picture also sucks, for the same reason. But it's a mixture of berry and pink and a teeny bit of blue. It's Mini Mochi, which I've used before (Thanksgiving Socks) and LOVED.

Now, this was a few weeks ago, remember.

The latest issue of Knitty Magazine just barely came out, and there's a sweater in it that calls for this exact yarn (well, in a different color, but I always pick my own colors anyway) and it screams "MIM!" (I think you'll agree). It's safe to post about it here because Mim never has time to read my blog, so she'll still be surprised if I show you all!

It's the Tenney Park sweater. It has something I've never tried before, which is Entrelac, which is the kind of stitching on the front panel. It looks wicked hard, but it's actually pretty easy (based on a tutorial I found online) so I think it'll be okay. The rest of the sweater is a piece of cake.

So it turns out it was awesome of me to buy that yarn when I did, and I didn't even know it!

ANYWAY.

So after the fair my friend and her sister and I went to Olive Garden for lunch, and it was amazing and delicious.

Aside: A week before, I had gotten hit with another UTI (Apparently there are gremlins living inside my bladder). It was the worst one I've ever had. I went to the doctor and got the antibiotics I needed and lots of Azo, and it was bad enough she even prescribed me painkillers. Yeah. THAT BAD. But, as usual, I gave it a few days and I was good as new. Or so I thought...

Back to Olive Garden: So there we were, enjoying our tasties with lots of delicious cheese, when I felt the call of nature. Okay, no big deal. I excused myself from the table and slipped into the ladies' room, and WHAT DO YOU KNOW I ALMOST DIED. It was so sudden. I went back to the table and I was desperately hoping I could get through lunch and just go home right after, but I couldn't even make it five minutes before I started convulsing from the pain (okay, slight exaggeration, but the pain was substantial).

I had to call Scott to come pick me up at the restaurant and leave some cash so my friends could pay for my food. I was really embarrassed. I mean, I shouldn't have been; everyone has a bladder, after all. BUT STILL.

I got home, and at that point I decided to try to take Azo and drink five gallons of water and see if that helped, but it didn't. Mim was planning on bringing Jorg up to do some work, so when she got there I was thinking of having her take me to the doctor again, but it was like 6:00 pm. on a Saturday and my only option would have been the ER (ginormous copay...), so Mim (angel) called Dad and asked him to call in a scrip for another antibiotic for me. And he did. And it went away for real that time.

It was a crazy sort of day.

But at least I got some awesome string. And at least I got to pet a llama:

Wave O' Babies!

2011-09-22T07:35:00.000-06:00

Ten points if you get that reference.

Check out this amazing Bebby I found!

This chick can walk now. On her own, even! But here she is with Isaac:

Running down the hallway with a blankie:

And covered in berry applesauce. Straight into the bathtub:

Remember when you were young enough to have toys in the bathtub, and it was time to play?

Such a smiley Bebby!

Can you even believe how adorable she is?

She's getting freaking huge, by the way.

Fewer Weeds Means Less Work!

2011-09-20T20:02:00.000-06:00

Jorg has been working pretty hard with Scott on lots of projects around the house to pay us back for his computer. He's helped us with painting, cleaning, truck repairs, yard work, and other little things around the house. His birthday is this week, so I knocked four hours off his debt.

This past weekend the giant project (that took eight hours!) was filling in the flower bed in the front yard. We had hated it before because although there were some very pretty flowers for about two weeks in the spring, the rest of the year it was just greenery that either just...sat there...or wilted. Either way, it wasn't pretty. Also, it was covered in wood chips (fugly), and weeds would grow like crazy. It was a lot of maintenance for very little aesthetic value, so it had to go!

First up, Scott and Jorg pulled out all the weeds, plants, and wood chips. Then, they needed to dig up all the bulbs and pull out any big rocks, so they dug up and sifted all the dirt about eight inches deep. Scott built this nifty little sifter tool thingy for the task.

I was sick this past weekend, so on Saturday I was feeling well enough to go outside, as long as I was just sitting. So I sat on the front porch and got a little sun and fresh air while they worked, and I kept them sunscreened and hydrated. So at least I contributed. But in the middle I got really tired, so I went inside to take a nap. When I woke up, they were all done sifting and were smoothing the dirt down.

Next up they put a weed blocker (a fabric/plastic sheet) over the leveled dirt. Over it we wanted to put a bed of nice, medium-sized rocks, which, it turns out, look infinitely better than crappy wood chips!

We went to Home Depot and got to use the truck to haul the rocks! We bought about a ton of them (and I do mean a ton, as in 2000 pounds). It took two trips in the truck to bring them all home, and the people at Home Depot had to load them for us with a forklift! That was lots of fun, actually.

In the end, this was the result:

I know it looks like there's a lot of dirt in there, but as it rains it will wash out and leave just the stones.

The plan now is to find some really lovely ceramic pots and place a few potted plants (probably flowers or something with colorful leaves) over the rocks. It'll be neater, cleaner, and a lot easier to take care of. Scott is pretty sure that weeds won't grow at all.

And the best part is, nobody got a sunburn!

SNOTpocalypse, September 2011

2011-09-15T05:08:00.000-06:00

It's about time for a nice little blog post, eh?

I've been feeling...well, Bipolar. There's no other way to describe it. I'm hot and cold, yes and no, in and out, up and down...I actually like her music, FYI. It's CATCHY!

So here's my recent life, in random, rambling form. Enjoy sorting it out...

Last Saturday I went to the State Fair with a yarny friend, her husband, and her mom. Her husband was cool. Her mom? TOTAL PARTY POOPER. (Sorry, yarny friend!) But she and I did pretty things with string in the car on the way there and back, and as a thank-you for driving, since I hate driving, I gave her a set of the stitch markers I made and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, they matched the yarn she was swatching with perfectly. I must be psychic.

Anyway, I did actually have fun, even though we didn't ride any rides. Yarny Friend and I were thinking about riding a few rides after we had looked at all the animals and exhibits booths and things, but we took one look at the line and decided it wouldn't be worth it. It's a good thing, too, because by the time we would have reached the front of the line to ride the whirly-around-make-you-sick ride, it would have been pouring rain. We got caught in it as it was! We were totally soaked!

This coming weekend Jorg and Scott and I were planning on going again, but he's not into exhibits, just fair food and rides, and THAT'S HOW WE LIKE IT! The problem is, I think I'm getting sick. Correction: I KNOW I'm getting sick. It's almost 5:00 in the morning, and I woke up about three hours ago with a burning sore throat and so much snot I don't even know what to do with it.

So I took some of that Zinc stuff that supposedly helps shorten colds, and some throat drops, and some Sudafed (the real kind, not the fake stuff they label as Sudafed nowadays) and lo and behold, I'm AWAKE. I'm not surprised; this is, after all, the stuff they make meth from. I can't really miss work (okay, well, theoretically I could, but it's been a hellish two weeks and my boss doesn't need to have to worry about covering for me when all I have is the sniffles...) so I'm going to suck it up and take drugs all freaking day, and maybe by this weekend I'll feel okay enough to go make myself sick from eating fair food and then riding in spinny-twisty-up-and-down-and-all-around rides at the fair. If not, I'll just have to wait until next year. SUCKO.

I spent all this week wishing it were Thursday so I could go to knit night.

I'm doing a test-knit for one of my yarny friends, and I taught myself the Magic Loop method! I'd tried it before with little success, but I think now I've got it. I haven't decided if I like it as much as using double pointed needles, but I'm thinking I'll get there. One needle is infinitely easier to keep track of than five, if you know what you're doing.

Oh, the snot. Make it stop!

I just spent the last two weeks doing damage control (and working ten or eleven hour days) at my lab because my equipment was down. I'm so tired and mad about it that I'm not even going to tell you about it. For now. Because I reserve the right to rant later on. It is, after all, my blog, which I may fill with whatever I wish.

Ugh. My throat freaking hurts.

I feel like blogging is a chore lately. I feel like I have everything to say, but nothing to say at the same time. I'm exhausted, and unmotivated, and emotionally I'm just DONE with everything. Does anyone else feel like this? I want to blog. I really do. I just can't get myself to sit down and do it lately.

MY THROAT HURTS.

Plus, I Get To Show Off!

2011-09-06T13:40:00.000-06:00

Let me tell you a little something about knitters.

Knitters are generally a very accepting group of people who love to make friends (especially yarny friends). All they have to have in common is sticks and string, and it doesn't matter whether they've known each other for days or for years: they quickly become the best of friends.

When we started our yarn group this past June, I was a little worried that I wouldn't fit in, or that I'd be DOING IT WRONG and they would be mean about it, or that they wouldn't like me, or whatever. Insert neurosis here.

But from the very first meeting, we all just clicked! We all fit together like a perfect, yarny puzzle, and we've all been having so much fun ever since.

We meet every Thursday, but it isn't just meetings anymore; we've gone to dinners and the fiber fair and this coming weekend, the state fair.

Even if I'm not in the mood to go anywhere (which happens more often than I'd like...) I still walk over to the coffee shop Thursday evening and by the end of the night, my mood is just freaking right.

They know I'm Bipolar, and they don't care. They know I hold the knitting needles "wrong", and they don't care. They know I'm incredibly lazy, and they don't care. They accept me for who I am, and they did it instantly, and you guys, you have no idea how wonderful that is for me. I have a really hard time making and keeping friends (by-product of moving around so much when I was younger, I suppose), but here I feel like one of the group, and it's one of the greatest feelings ever.

I went to the Great Basin Fiber Arts Fair with a member of our group a few weekends ago. I pet a llama! She has since informed me that she spun a bit of pretty yarn just for me! I think we all love to make and give presents, because I've spent a lot of time these past few weeks making pretty sets of stitch markers for my group (pictures to come), and I'm so excited to give them out!

I have to admit that I've been a little lonely for the past few years. I went from being fairly popular in school, surrounded by friends, coworkers, classmates, and fellow church-goers to just...me. I try to keep in touch with old school and church friends via Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and e-mail, but it isn't the same as being able to call someone up and say "Hey! Let's walk to Panda and get cheap Chinese food!" any time I want (my Panda friends now live in Texas and Massachusetts. I don't think they even have Panda where they live...). I have Kwiddens and Mim and Em and Jorg, and we spend a lot of time together, but sometimes I was still lonely.

I don't feel lonely any more. Don't get me wrong; I'd love to be able to see and hang out with my college friends again, but this knitting group is doing wonders for me.

We come from all walks of life. Some of us aren't married yet, some of us are married with no kids, some of us have kids, and some of us have kids who are grown and gone. Some of us are students, and some of us work from home, and some of us go to work every day. We're tall and short, thin and not-so-thin, knitters and crocheters, brand new and very experienced with all things fiber. But for two hours every Thursday night, we're all the same, and I LOVE it!

Yes. Words.

2011-08-31T20:27:00.003-06:00

YEAH.

Love.

Text Time 17

2011-08-30T18:41:00.000-06:00

Kwiddens: So...does killing someone and hiding the body count as exercise?
Me: I would count it!

Kwiddens: This shouldn't bug me but Isaac used my shampoo to wash the dogs
Me: Bleeeeh not fair. Was it expensive shampoo?
Kwiddens: No, but I don't like the levels of the shampoo and the conditioner to be different!

Kwiddens: I need to be a wizard.
Me: Hell yes. We could invent a potion that makes you skinny no matter how much you eat. And the potion would taste like chocolate milkshakes.

Me: I am a total frosting whore.
Kwiddens: Haha did you eat some?
Me: We have mini cupcakes at work.
Kwiddens: Lol...a miniature brothel
Me: That is why I love you.
Kwiddens: Because...
Me: Because you say things like "miniature brothel" in reference to cupcakes
Kwiddens: Tee hee :)

Kwiddens: The tables are set correctly with fork on left, knife and spoon on the right. Somebody said, "Why are they all set for lefties?"
Me: Oh, for crying out loud...
Kwiddens: Seriously. I'm gonna die.

Brainless!

2011-08-29T18:29:00.002-06:00

Today someone asked me for help with his chemistry homework and I couldn't help him. It's been more than four years since I've done any advanced math, and the only chemistry I do anymore is instrumental/analytical in nature, so I don't remember how to do any of the physical chemistry, which is what he was stuck on.

I feel like an idiot.

Silly Megan...

2011-08-25T09:12:00.000-06:00

If you have a minute, please see this for a really good read about mental illness and the way society perceives it.

Standing In The Fridge

2011-08-24T09:14:00.000-06:00

It's about time for some Bebby pictures, don't you think? Yes, I think so!

I'm thinking that last one needs to be enlarged and framed and hung on my wall!

The Snakes Were The Smelliest

2011-08-23T18:12:00.000-06:00

While we were growing up we had so many pets I've lost count. We've had dogs, cats, guinea pigs, rabbits, hamsters, mice, rats, snakes, frogs, iguanas, parakeets, cockatiels, finches, fish, and probably others I've forgotten. Which is why I wasn't surprised when Em caught herself two new pets:

Meet Nicholas and Hephaestus.

I was also not surprised when Em caught a bat the other day:

Me: How in the hell did you catch a bat?
Em: I am a wizard.

Poor Scott! Sleepy Me!

2011-08-22T20:07:00.001-06:00

1. My energy level is minimal lately. I don't know why. As long as I get coffee in the morning, I'm fine, but it's getting to where the first thing I think about every morning when I wake up is WHEN CAN I SLEEP AGAIN??

2. My boss is out of town this whole week, so I'm holding my breath and hoping nothing breaks. Please tell me I didn't just jinx it...

3. Em and Scott both had a birthday this past week. I won't talk about Scott's (he has refused to acknowledge it), but Em turned 18! I had her over this past weekend and we had a three-day sleepover with movies and crafts and snacks and such. I love having my family so close. I wish they were closer, but an hour-and-a-half drive is infinitely better than if they had never moved here to Utah.

4. I was making good progress on my sweater, but I was getting sick of working on sleeves, so I switched to the blanket for a little while. That's all I have left, though: sleeves and a bit on the collar. I tried it on so far, and it makes my waist look tiny and my boobs look awesome!

5. Poor Scott has been feeling very nauseated for a few weeks now. He finally went to the doctor today, and they ordered blood tests and did an ultrasound. The doctor was concerned that there might be a gallbladder problem. We'll have to wait a few days for results, and then we'll see.

Text Time 16

2011-08-20T22:11:00.000-06:00

Kwiddens: Do you want to hear a potassium joke?
Me: Sure
Kwiddens: K :)

Me: I don't like any children except Nyah.
Kwiddens: Lol ok

Kwiddens: I wish I could just be stoned for a couple days
Me: I know EXACTLY how you feel
Kwiddens: And then magically when I sober up my bills are paid and the move is done and the landlord is off our backs
Me: And we're skinny with perfect boobs.
Kwiddens: Um yes.

Me: I feel like lying around and just being a blob today.
Kwiddens: ME TOO. And fooding. I shaved my legs today. That counts for something, right?
Me: Yeah!
Kwiddens: Hell yes :)

Me: Our neighbors are SO noisy!
Kwiddens: What are they doing?
Me: I'm not really sure. I just keep hearing loud slamming noises, like thunks.
Kwiddens: SEX.
Me: It's not that regular. And it's off and on, all the time.
Kwiddens: Weird.
Me: There are kids there.
Kwiddens: You need a house in a retirement community.

The Rock Did It...

2011-08-11T07:45:00.003-06:00

Um, Scott, if you post it on YouTube it won't do you any good to ask Jon and Jorg not to tell me about it.

Even I, a shooting novice, know that that's not the right way to hold the shot gun.

Open Letters?

2011-08-10T09:00:00.002-06:00

Dear PCL,

May I please steal your Open Letters idea?

-A Bloggy Friend Who Thinks It's A Fabulous Idea

Dear ICP-MS,

You seem to have come to your senses. It only took a week! Please be good, at least for a few months, I beg of you.

-Mama

Dear Scott,

You're my angel. Seriously. You make everything better. You need to know how much I appreciate how hard you work to make me happy and my life easy. I know your job is driving you insane right about now, but remember that you get to come home to an awesome wifey and an even awesomer puppy, and we love to hang with you when you get home.

-Wifey

Dear 401K,

You're going to be much smaller for a while, aren't you? At least we don't need that money right now...

-Someone Who Is Slightly Poorer But Can Still Afford Coffee Every Morning

Dear Green Sweater,

I LOVE making you. I LOVE that every time I try you on you fit perfectly. I LOVE the yarn I'm using, and I've learned my lesson: I'll never use cheap yarn for a sweater again. This time, you're turning out beautifully. You drape just right, and you're smooth and silky (even though there's no silk in you), and your color makes my cheeks look rosy, which will make people think I eat more vegetables than I actually do. That being said, I have one request: please don't need more yarn than I bought. I'm not sure where to get more. I suppose that's what I get for buying the yarn for one sweater pattern and, a year later, choosing a different sweater pattern.

-A Happy, Happy Knitter (Who Will Be Warm This Winter)

Caught Up, FINALLY!

2011-08-09T14:03:00.000-06:00

If my constant complaining about my equipment at work bores you, you can skip this one.

Last week my boss came in on Monday, but had Tuesday through Friday off.

So, of course, Tuesday morning, when he wasn't there, the plasma wouldn't light. Again. It gave me the same error message as before. Again. I e-mailed Agilent Dude and explained what was going on. We chatted a bit, and he had me try a few things to see if I could get it working by myself, but it WOULD. NOT. GO. So, he said he'd come in Wednesday afternoon.

He didn't say what time...

He got here pretty late in the afternoon, just about when I was leaving. We talked and strategized a bit, and he got to work. He had ordered some parts in and was thinking that it was the matching box, which was the same part he had replaced a few weeks ago. Apparently, the new one he put in was defective! Yay! So he was at my lab until 7:30 that night, and then he sent me an e-mail that I got the next morning saying that once he had the new matching box back in, it started giving him a whole new set of problems. Joy.

He was able to come in Thursday morning and try a few more things, but he couldn't get it to work, so he ordered some more parts and said he'd be able to come in again on Monday (he had a service call to Colorado he had to make Thursday and Friday. I feel sorry for this guy, having to run all over the place so much!).

Fortunately, we have a method for heavy metals on the ICP-OES that kinda sorta almost works, so after Coworker was running all of his samples on that instrument we were able to throw mine on and let them run overnight. Then, in the morning, we figured out which samples didn't work and sent them over to another lab in the area (because they're super super awesome and nice and helpful) (plus we help them when their instruments are down) (it's all about back scratching) and we were able to keep up with everything that way. Thank goodness, because having an entire week's worth of samples to catch up on would have been pure hell, let me tell you! As it was, I could only run our company's samples this way, and had to save up all the samples from outside clients.

He was able to come in Monday and it was fixed by about 1:00, so we were able to jump on and start getting things done! All I can say is that by the time I left work yesterday, there were still about 90 samples in the queue to be run overnight.

I was so afraid that I would come in this morning to find that something had gone terribly wrong and nothing would have been tested and I would have DIED. But everything worked, and I am just about caught up. Yesterday, however, was the most stressed at work I've been in a very, very long time. I forgot to eat lunch, I was so stressed and busy! At the end of the day I came home and just kinda let myself go brain dead.

But I'm alive. And today things are working.

KNOCK ON FREAKING WOOD.

Text Time 15

2011-08-06T13:09:00.000-06:00

Mim: I hate giving away books; I don't want them to feel rejected...

Mim: Aargh! I can't decide whether to arrange my bookshelves by size, color, topic, or alphabet!

Kwiddens: I wonder if BO smells like body odor
Kwiddens: I mean the chemical compound BO
Me: I know :)
Kwiddens: Okie. I didn't want you thinking I was (more) tarded
Me: Lol. You're not "tarded" at all!
Kwiddens: I knew you'd never tell me...

Kwiddens: If I walk to the gas station to get chocolate, I'm nearly calorie neutral!

Kwiddens: I need a nanny today.
Me: I need a shot.
Kwiddens: Amen.
(This one was edited for language. Use your imagination!)

Computers Out Of Thin Air

2011-08-05T11:59:00.000-06:00

When I lived in South Dakota kids could get a job when they were 14, but here you have to wait until you're 16, which is fine, unless you're only 15 and you really want a new gaming computer and your parents won't buy you one.

Enter: The Big Sister.

Jorg really wanted a new gaming computer, and Scott is magical and makes computers out of thin air (or out of parts from NewEgg...).

So we all decided that we would buy the computer, and Jorg would pay us back by working 40 hours for us. And I mean WORKING. He's been coming over and staying almost every weekend lately and helping us with all sorts of things around the house, slowly whittling down his hours. He's done 12 already, I think. When he's not working, he and Scott play games, and we've been having tons of fun.

This turned out to be a perfect opportunity for Scott to build himself a new gaming computer, too, which is why he now won't let me buy him anything for his birthday later this month.

So Jorg experiences working hard for something he really wants, and I have someone to help me paint the living room. Scott hates painting, so I was going to have to do it all alone, but now I have company!

A Brief Letter

2011-08-02T12:20:00.000-06:00

Dear ICP-MS,

SHOVE IT.

Lots of love,

Your Frustrated Mama

Mix It Up!

2011-07-28T09:02:00.000-06:00

1. Monday Kwiddens came over and we baked. We made mini chocolate chip cookies for Scott and Jorg, and coffee cream puffs for ourselves. The cream puffs were a smashing success. We ended up with about twice as much coffee-flavored whipped cream as we needed, and now it's sitting in my fridge and I don't have any idea what to do with it.

2. I'm amazed that the baking worked out well because I had some trouble with the damn oven last week. I had bought some cookie dough and was making mini chocolate chip cookies for Scott (I know, twice in one week, so sue me). The instructions said to bake them for nine or ten minutes, so I put them in for eight and checked on them, and they were BURNT. So, I put some more in, this time for six minutes, and then I went to check on them and they were BURNT. So, I put the rest in, for five minutes, and when I checked on them, they weren't cooked AT ALL. Oven gremlins?

3. I've been having so much fun with my knitting group. The original plan was to meet twice a month, but we're all loving it so much that we've been meeting every week. It's motivating me to actually work on projects, too! I had gone through a two or three month knitting dry spell, but now I'm back into it and loving it. It's fun and satisfying to see what everyone else is making and squish their yarn.

4. Work has been crazy. Yesterday I walked in and there were seven samples, so I thought "AWESOME, short day, and then I can go home and take a nap!" Um, no. Coworker called me a few minutes later and asked if I could run 150 samples for another company. Ha! I rushed as much as I could to get regular stuff done so that when those samples arrived I would be ready to go. They never came, but ironically people kept bringing me more and more work and I ended up staying for more than eight hours anyway. We'll see how things go today...

5. Scott mentioned french fries last night while we were talking and that's all I've been able to think about all day.

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

2011-07-27T17:33:00.000-06:00

...or the end of Harry Potter.

And I feel fine.

I read the very first Harry Potter book shortly after it came out. My friend Samantha had read it and lent it to me, and I read it, and I wasn't that interested. I passed on the series for quite a while.

Then, my family had to take a trip to Pennsylvania, and I was a moody teenager, I think in my senior year of high school, and all I wanted to do was hang out in our hotel room and sleep. There came a point where I was sick of sleeping, though, and I was bored out of my skull, so I grabbed the only reading material in sight: my sister's copy of The Goblet Of Fire. And I was hooked. "Wait a minute", I thought, "Why didn't I like the first one all those years ago?"

Now that I've read them all (cough*multiple times*), I can easily see that as the story moves forward it becomes more detailed and interesting, and so in hindsight I like the first book just fine, although it's not my favorite.

Anyway, the last three books all came out while I was in college, and for the first two I waited (impatiently) for a roommate or close friend to finish reading the copy she had bought so I could borrow (and devour) it. The last book was pre-ordered on Amazon by our dear Scott as a reward for finishing my very last paper in my very last class so I could actually get a diploma.

Books have always been in my life, and they've always been my escape. Stressed about school? Grab a book. Down about yourself? Grab a book. Life turning into a living hell? Grab two books. ESCAPE.

And this sound incredibly nerdy, but I feel like the characters in my very favorite books are my friends, and I take it very personally when I reach the end of a series and they're gone from my life. The characters in Harry Potter have been close friends for nine years now.

It was sad enough for the last book to come out, and knowing that there weren't going to be any more. I'd laughed and cried and loved and hated along with all these characters, and that was it. I was sad about this, but all good things come to an end (except ice cream; that must NEVER come to an end). But at least they were still making movies, and even though they aren't nearly as good as the books (duh), I still love All Things Potter, so I was still happy.

But when the credits rolled on the very last movie the day before yesterday, I know it was really finished this time. Oh, sadness. And by finished, I mean until Pottermore is open to the public (Google it, if you want to). And maybe someday when I have a zillion extra dollars I'll go to that amusement park that's all HP and stuff.

And I can always read the books again.

Kwiddens's Toasty Feet

2011-07-23T19:26:00.000-06:00

Too bad nobody wants warm feet in heat like this...

Text Time 14

2011-07-21T16:42:00.000-06:00

Me: The thing about going to the gym is, it makes me hungry, so I feel like if I eat it's defeating the purpose of going in the first place.
Mim: Not if you eat high fiber or lean protein. Nutrient rich foods. No empty calories.
Me: But I want cake, dammit!
Mim: Have a broccoli cake. With skinless chicken breast frosting!

Kwiddens: I need to start taking some kind of drug that makes me just take everything in stride
Me: Like pot?
Kwiddens: Valium :)

Kwiddens: Right now I could go for hot cocoa and popcorn and blankets and a movie
Me: I have all that, except switch yarn for popcorn!

Kwiddens: I wanted to get pie but Isaac wasn't supportive.
Me: You should have married someone more supportive!
Kwiddens: Or I should just stop wanting pie

Scott: Dr. Cox is right
Me: About?
Scott: If you can't decide what you want in the 10 minutes it takes to get to the front of the line I should be allowed to kill you

Oh, And I Really Want A Quesadilla

2011-07-19T11:36:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted a lot lately, mainly because I felt like I didn't have much to post about. I kinda like each of my posts to focus on one event or theme or something I've recently made. But I want to write, so I might have more than a few "Random Thoughts" sorts of posts for a while. Deal with it.

1. Mim and I went to Lava Hot Springs again this past weekend. We lounged and soaked and even though it was really ridiculously hot outside, we still caught the breeze on our wet skin and that made it all totally worth it. We talked and talked and talked, and had our traditional dinner at a diner, and we went earlier this time so I didn't get home at midnight!

2. After a long week of the ICP-MS working, then not working, then being repaired, then not being repaired, then working kinda and getting partially caught up to not working again and getting behind again, and then being repaired (and that taking about 7 hours), then getting caught up again, then normal operation for two days...deep breath...it crapped out again last night after I left. I simply cannot win this one. The Agilent dude is trying to rearrange his schedule so he can get here ASAP.

3. I finished one of Kwiddens's socks last night! It turns out you can get a lot of knitting done when your equipment doesn't work.

4. Just kidding, I think the ICP-MS is working now. I'll keep you posted.

5. I still haven't seen the latest Harry Potter movie. I'm waiting until the crowds die down and until I can get together with Kwiddens (and maybe Jorg) to go see it.

A Month Of Blankets

2011-07-17T13:14:00.001-06:00

Remember the Babette Blanket?

Well, I've got the itch to make it again, for me, in 17 shades of pink. In fact, I've already ordered the yarn for it. I'm very excited about it!

I don't feel like I can start another project that's so big without finishing up some projects first, so I've been on a major finishing spree this past month, and I'm not finished yet. So here are all the baby blankets I've been making:

This is actually one I made quite a long time ago, with no particular baby in mind, just so I could have an extra on hand for when someone has a baby and I'm too busy to make another one:

This one was the same story, but in pink:

So, now I have a spare for a boy and one for a girl.

This next one is for the baby our friend Ben just had (well, technically his wife):

And here's yet another spare, in pink:

This last one has a story behind it.

A few years ago my dear friend Andrea had her first baby, and I made her a blanket for him and sent it to her. He loved it and dragged it around everywhere he went. I was incredibly touched and proud that someone loved something I had made so much!

Well, a few weeks ago, The Blankie was lost! They retraced their steps and tried to find it, but had no luck. She posted on Facebook about it, and I had an idea.

I decided to try and replicate the blanket and surprise her with it! I remembered what kind of yarn I used and thought I had remembered the pattern, which I had made up, but I remembered it totally wrong and looked through old pictures and found a picture I had taken when I made the first one!

So I made it:

And I think it turned out about exactly like the old one:

Anyway, I shipped it off and when she got it she called me and it was just so much fun to make it and surprise her! I know that even though it's the same yarn and the same pattern and I even used the same crochet hook, it's still not the original, but she can pretend, right? And in the meantime, I hope her son can't tell the difference!

Now, before I can start a Babette for myself, I need to finish some socks I started for Kwiddens and a sweater I had started for either me or Mim (I can't decide!).

The Yarn Did The Trick!

2011-07-08T18:07:00.000-06:00

So when I left you yesterday I was in The World's Worst Mood. Murderous.

I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER TODAY.

Last night I met up with a new knitting friend at the coffee shop behind my house. I think the combination of yarn, a most delicious iced latte, and some good conversation with someone with whom I seem to have a lot in common (and who made me laugh quite a bit) did some sort of voodoo magic on me, and I woke up this morning NOT ANNOYED.

Then, today, the guy came to fix the ICP-MS! Granted, he said it would take him the entire day to fix it, but it'll be ready on Monday morning when I come in, and all my stuff's already prepped and ready to go, so I'll just throw it on and have a longer day on Monday, which is fine because I went home BEFORE NOON today. Then I took the most heavenly nap ever, and now I'm eating a frozen coffee milkshake from the milkshake robot at Maverik.

Life. Is. Good.

And that, my friends, is what life with Bipolar Disorder is like. You go from STRANGULATION to Mmmm, Delicious Coffee! in a matter of hours.

If People Would Just Stop Talking To Me I Think I'd Be Fine...

2011-07-07T11:27:00.000-06:00

Oh, for crying out loud!

I've had a rough couple of weeks, emotionally. There hasn't been some tragedy, and I haven't missed any meds, but I am so freaking annoyed at everyone and everything (slight exaggeration) and I think it's going to cause my early death, or at least a break from sanity.

The pollen is ridiculous, and it's not helping me sleep any better, so I walk around a little fuzzy unless I amp up on caffeine, but if I've had any after about 4:00 p.m. I can't sleep, so if I'm awake-ish in the morning I'm half asleep by the afternoon.

I just tried to light the plasma on the ICP-MS, and it wouldn't go. I called tech support, and they're going to call me back to schedule a service visit. If The Universe doesn't hate me, someone will be able to come over soon. If not, chaos will ensue.

I really want a quesadilla.

And hang time with The Kwiddens.

And This One Has Air Conditioning!

2011-07-05T09:50:00.001-06:00

Last month we did something that was a little sad, but good for lots of different reasons.

We sold the Mustang.

Yeah, I know, it was very sad, since it was a MAN CAR and Scott is a MAN, and it was definitely eye candy, but we hadn't had time or money to work on it in a long, long time (we'd been focusing on the house)(still on hiatus...). It also didn't have air conditioning, and Scott was dreading riding around in it this summer.

So we went from beautiful, shiny Mustang to this:

And then we had to go car shopping...yuck. We wanted to either get me a newer car and give the Focus to Scott (since I'm the one that commutes) or else get a truck for Scott so we could haul things (mainly from Home Depot!). Scott had looked online at a few small dealers in our town, and we set out, hoping to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible.

We went to one dealer first and found a Focus we liked (yes, we kinda did want another Focus, since we love this one so much) and also a truck we liked, both in the price range we decided on beforehand. The Focus, on closer inspection, reeked of cigarette smoke, so that was immediately out of the question (Scott and I are both allergic to cigarette smoke, and Scott can get BAD asthma attacks from it), and we decided to keep the truck in mind while we kept looking. We went to a few more dealers, and we were kinda sick of it, but I wanted to just get it over with as soon as possible, so we grabbed some dinner and kept at it. We went to another small dealer and looked around for quite a bit with the help of a really nice and helpful salesman who wasn't pushy at all (SCORE) and was happy to stay inside our budget.

We were about to give up when we found it:

It's a 1999 Dodge Dakota. Yes, I know, it's twelve years old, BUT, it only has 40,000 miles on it, because it was owned by the Government and was barely used, and you look at the CarFax and you can see it was regularly maintained and the oil was changed on time and everything. The interior was in immaculate condition and didn't smell like smoke (YAY), and it was $1,500 less than we had originally planned on spending. It was like when we bought the Focus, which was 5 years old when we bought it but only had 17,000 miles on it because it was owned by an old lady who basically only drove to the grocery store once in a while. We got an amazing deal on that one, too. I guess we're just lucky.

The best part? It only took one afternoon to find the perfect car.

And we've already been able to haul stuff with it!

Nyah Pics Make For Great Blog Filler

2011-07-04T18:50:00.000-06:00

Bebby's first time eating peanut butter:

Beautiful, sleeping bebby:

Bebby checking out some baby chicks:

Bebby chowing down on a banana:

FREAKING YUM

2011-06-30T15:12:00.000-06:00

Hells yes.

I Used To Run All The Time...

2011-06-20T19:35:00.000-06:00

This past weekend I went and spent a few days at Mim's. I got some alone time with Em and Jorg, and some time with both of them together, and some time with just Mim, and it's just what I needed most.

Mim and I talk about a lot of things, and most of the times we dig around into our current psychological states, and on occasion we have epiphanies, or else Mim comes up with the most perfect analogies. It's less expensive than therapy, and makes me cry just as much.

So let me tell you what got me crying this weekend:

I was a really freaking brilliant kid. I had quite an ego about it, too, until seventh grade, when one of my classmates told me I was a jerk about it, and I toned it down. A lot. But seriously. I had more potential than anyone else in my classes, and I was going to go somewhere. Somewhere big. All my teachers knew it.

And then shit happened. My whole life I've been dumped on by a long list of bad circumstances. I'm not saying this to get sympathy or anything; I'm just trying to give some background for the analogy Mim came up with.

This weekend I was crying because I felt like I had failed, compared to what I was supposed to accomplish by now. I should have a doctorate degree. I should be doing research and teaching college courses and publishing papers and being generally awesome.

You wanna know something about Bipolar Disorder? I have a genetic predisposition, but if I hadn't been subjected to long periods of intense stress and such, I wouldn't have ever developed the disorder. The sucky thing is, once it develops, you're screwed up for life! Yippee!

So...here I am. I have a good job, I really do. But I do have to admit, it's usually the same thing every day. Unless something breaks, there's no challenge. But the thing is, I don't know if I could handle a more challenging job. And I certainly couldn't handle working many more hours than I do now. And it's all because I'm a total nutter butter.

Anyway, as I was crying at Mim, she reassured me with a little story:

Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved to run. She could run almost as soon as she learned to walk. She could run faster than any other kids in her neighborhood.

As she was growing up, she kept running and running, and eventually when she joined the middle school track team, her coaches knew she would be groomed for the Olympics.

The problem was, as she was growing up, she practiced as much as much as she could, but she never seemed to make as much progress as she should have, because she was repeatedly maimed (it doesn't really matter how or by whom at this point) throughout her whole life.

The amazing thing was, even though she never did make it to the Olympics, she was still a star athlete on her college track team, and was a good, strong runner for the rest of her life.

The end.

Mim is good at making up analogies (although this one is a little longer, so does that make it an allegory?).

It made me feel a little bit better. A little.

Still...sometimes I feel like I've disappointed a lot of people, including myself.

The most frustrating thing is that lately, I feel like I can't think. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around things like easy math, or I'm having to re-read a paragraph when I reach the end and realize I have no idea what I just read. My brain feels fuzzy. It's a side-effect of the antipsychotics. It's been coming on very, very gradually.

My psychiatrist left the clinic where I saw her, so I need to find a new one. I hate finding a new one. It's like a total crapshoot whether I can find one who is completely understanding and sympathetic to my situation, while simultaneously being a really good doctor and willing to listen to my questions and suggestions. Once I find a new one, maybe I'll discuss trying a different antipsychotic. The problem is, the last time I tried a different one I felt like I was on meth for a week...

Anyway. That's what's bouncing around in my head today.

Nyah's 1!

2011-06-14T07:52:00.002-06:00

I can't believe it's been a year today since our pretty baby Nyah was born!

You'll have to forgive me; these pictures turned out grainy for who knows what reason.

Here's the beautiful birthday girl, wearing her crown, and her gorgeous mama:

Nyah got her very own carrot cake cupcake, which she enjoyed thoroughly (this baby loves vegetables!):

By the end, there was frosting all over her, and they had to change her into a completely new outfit (that I got her, yellow with a giant butterfly, and I forgot pictures, FAIL).

Anyway, we just had a little family party this past Saturday, and Mim brought her yummy marshmallow fruit salad, but added strawberries this time, which was AMAZING.

Bonus:

A picture of beautiful bebby in her little pool with her toys!

Also, I have an adorable video of her crawling around really funny, but she's nakie, so I'm not posting it here. Gotta protect her from the pervs! Message me your phone number on FB and I'll message it to you, if you want to see it :)

Show Me Your Teeth!

2011-06-13T17:44:00.000-06:00

Em Beanie recently had her wisdom teeth removed, and Mim sent me a picture of her with the laughing gas on, and it looked so much like a face hugger from Aliens, so I thought I'd share and see if you all agree:

Once she started getting loopy, Mim said she started speaking in Japanese.

Also, every time I hear that song by Lady Gaga, "Show Me Your Teeth", I get it stuck in my head for at least two days.

Too Bad I'm So Pale

2011-06-06T19:40:00.000-06:00

I have no idea why I felt like sharing this, but I found it interesting.

I'm part Native American. No, really! I have some Cherokee and some Choctaw.

Anyway, Kwiddens called me a little while ago and asked me how the back of my two front teeth were shaped. I thought it an odd question...but I answered. They're thin at the bottom, then they widen very quickly, like there's an extra shelf back there. I hadn't known this, but apparently that's a genetic trait known only to Native Americans and a very small number of Asians.

I was curious, so I looked around online and found a few sites that describe some other genetic traits that I have:

The "shovel teeth", of course
High cheekbones
Crooked fingers, particularly the pinky
Little toes that lie under the next one
A second toe that's longer than the big toe (but only very slightly in my case)
Larger gap between the big toe and the second toe
An extra ridge of bone along the outside of the foot (Mim had to have parts of this removed, as it was causing problems for her)
Thyroid problems (mine is low-functioning)
The ability to tan deeply (but I never go in the sun anymore, so this hasn't happened since about...8th grade or so)

I also have a very square jaw and very thick, very straight hair.

I mostly look white, so I don't bother telling people unless they specifically ask, because I don't really look much like it. But now you know something interesting about me.

(The rest of me is almost entirely Danish. Perhaps this explains my love for pastries.)

Round Two...

2011-06-04T17:30:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the longish absence. I'm losing blogging steam...

So I dropped Baby Pink Tablet, right? Well, Scott tried to fix it but something shorted out when it fell (we think) so getting the touch screen operational just wasn't going to happen. I stuck it on eBay and got $50 out if it for parts, so it's not a total loss...

Scott got online and pulled up several tablets he thought would be good as a replacement. I wanted another one badly, but I felt so bad about breaking the first one. The thing that came to mind was when we were little and something would get broken or dirty and Mim would say "This is why we can't have nice things!" Did anyone else's parents say that? Talk about a guilt trip.

Anyway, so I was reluctant to invest in another one but Scott convinced me, of course, and helped me choose another one. I could have gotten another of the same one, but Scott said that for just a little bit more money we could get one with a bigger screen and a faster processor. I figured that an 8" screen couldn't be that much bigger than the 7" screen, so went for it.

It came in the mail and I was in the middle of my "everything either makes me cry or pisses me off" phase (which is wearing off quite nicely, FINALLY), so when I started messing around with it and a few things were different, I got frustrated pretty quickly. The biggest thing that was bugging me was the size difference. It's actually quite a bit bigger than the last one and MUCH heavier, and I was not very happy about that. I mean, the old one was about the size and weight of a book, and the e-reader was the biggest reason I wanted it.

I'm getting used to it, though.

Speaking of the e-reader, the old one had one built in that was SO PERFECT. I had assumed this new tablet would have one built in, as well, but it didn't. Oh well. It has the entire Android market, so I hopped on there and started looking for an e-reader I would like. I downloaded like ten, and all of them sucked. Majorly. Finally, I was almost in tears, and I found another one and it seemed almost as perfect as the one I had before, but now that I've used it I think it's even better.

I have like a million books now. Having that many books (and all free!) makes me feel more educated, even though I haven't read them yet. A lot of them are books I've read before but a long time ago, like in high school, and I'd like to refresh my memory. If only I could get the Harry Potter books on there...sigh...

Scott had me download Angry Birds to see what the fuss was all about, and then I never saw the tablet again. The end.

Just kidding. But he has worn the battery down twice playing the game. Good thing I still have my laptop, so I'm not completely disconnected from the outside world...

Anyway, I don't plan on dropping this one. And now that I'm used to it (and not in constant panic mode) I like it very much. It's not pink, but that's okay.

And Scott gets mega brownie points for letting me have another one, even though I'm obviously not good at taking care of my stuff.

Overtime! Can You Even Believe It?

2011-05-27T20:43:00.000-06:00

Most of the time the meds keep me pretty stable and happy and such, but on occasion I do still feel the ups and downs. They're dampened, but they're still there.

A few weeks ago I was feeling pretty energetic, and having a really hard time sleeping at night. Teensy peek of a manic phase.

The past three days or so have been a little rough. I'm feeling down, agitated, irritable, exhausted, and just generally emotional. This week at work has also been INSANE. As in, two of my three machines not working, and the third being out of commission for a whole day because of preventative maintenance, and add in the new guy who is replacing my coworker who is going to grad school (who is really nice, but you know how bad I am with change) (plus I'm really going to miss the guy he's replacing), and add in a giant boatload of samples from both our company and outside clients...it just piled up and I actually worked OVERTIME this week! That NEVER happens!

So I'm in a little teeny depressive phase. It's not that bad. I just feel a little antsy and all these random things that have nothing to do with anything are floating around in my head, and of course, very few of these things even make any sense. And I'm freaking tired. TIRED.

I'm just going to take this three-day weekend and chill, and hopefully by the time I need to get to work Tuesday morning I'm back to normal.

Also, I want my new tablet to come in the mail. I've been in withdrawal.

5,000 Questions: Part 3

2011-05-22T19:16:00.000-06:00

New rules: if I think the question is dumb, I'll skip it. That's why there are numbers missing.

41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat?
Fly! I HATE being on open water.

42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night?
Refraction!

43. What does your name mean?
Grace, which is hilarious given how clumsy I actually am.

44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space?
How about my living room?

46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be?
I'm cool with all zombies.

47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive?
Mike Rowe, maybe?

48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday?
Not really a movie, but I could watch Stargate every day. There are 17 seasons now, so it lasts me a while. It makes for good knitting TV!

49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do?
Yarn. The first thing I thought when I read this question, though, was "What if I have to use the bathroom?!"

50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved?
Some doctors saved my life once when I was little and got really freaking sick and was in the hospital for a week.

52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands?
I'm working on a baby blanket right now, just in case.

53. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Legos!

54. How many TV’s are in your house?
Two: one in the living room and one in front of the treadmill.

55. What is your favorite thing to do outside?
Turning around and walking back inside. Sad, I know.

56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow?
What does it mean?! Ok, really I don't care.

57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true?
No, my dreams are all usually too psychotic to ever be real. Such as my dreams about dinosaurs. Especially zombie dinosaurs.

58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader?
Yes...don't tell Scott, but I went to one last week. Oh wait, Scott reads this. Hey Scott, I went to a psychic last week!

59. What is your idea of paradise?
I don't believe in paradise. I believe in weekends that involve yarn, good food, and extra snuggle time with Buster and Scott.

60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like?
Sometimes I believe in a god and sometimes I just believe in science. When I do believe, he or she seems to be either slightly benevolent or disinterested.

Uggggggggh.

2011-05-21T09:50:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time there was a woman named Anna. Anna was a very careful person who took very good care of her things. Unfortunately, she was a bit of an idiot, and dropped her new Android tablet on the floor, where is broke into several pieces.

Noble Scott tried to fix it, but in vain.

Anna felt like a moron.

Sweet Scott went online and found another, better tablet, and called his brother, who lives in Hong Kong, to see if he could get us a good deal on it (he works with the company that makes it) and we'll see what happens.

I'm so freaking mad at myself.

No Judgement Here!

2011-05-19T10:18:00.000-06:00

This is almost exactly my experience with leaving organized religion.

It was never about judgement, or not being able to be "righteous" enough, or anything like that. It was all about my feelings toward what I was taught as I grew up. It was about finding what would make me feel at peace with myself.

Just some food for thought...

Reese's And I Are Going To Go Get A Room

2011-05-18T19:34:00.001-06:00

So I think I've mentioned Scott's allergies before. I haven't listed all of them, though, so here:

Peanuts
Tree nuts
Some seeds
Legumes
Shellfish
RABBITS (the fur, not the meat)(that we know of)(we're not in the habit of eating bunnies)
Plants
Animals (actually, we're both allergic to Buster, but he's TOTALLY WORTH IT)
Life in general

So how do you cook for someone who can't eat these things?

Let me be more clear: soy is a legume. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THINGS HAVE SOY PROTEIN IN THEM? Also, my company chelates minerals to soy protein, so sometimes when I get it on my clothes Scott is actually literally allergic to me. Also, one time we were at Target and he smelled a soy candle and his throat closed up. Fun times.

Sigh.

When we buy a new skillet dinner at the store it's a risk we have to take. We always have Benadryl on hand. Sometimes Scott will take a Benadryl just so he can eat clam chowder at Zupas! That's true love.

The interesting thing is that this soy allergy seems to be getting worse. More and more things are giving him trouble. We had to switch brands of meatballs. We were sad about this.

There's one thing that you all have to remember, more important than everything else ever:

You can pry my peanut butter from my cold, dead hands.

Tiny! Pink! Thousands Of Books!

2011-05-15T18:36:00.001-06:00

Perhaps you've been wondering why my blog posts lately have been...intermittent...at best.

Well, I've fallen in love. Not with Scott; I was already in love with him.

No, I'm in love with my new Precious:

Meet my new Android tablet!

She's tiny! She's pink! She fits in my purse! She's Baby Pink Lappie's little sister!

It does almost everything Baby Pink Lappie does. Granted, most websites aren't configured for an Android OS, so things like Facebook and Twitter are a bit more bare bones, but still functional. The thing is, I like having internet functionality on it, but when I'm at home I've got Baby Pink Lappie anyway, so anything I need to do on the internet I can do there. She is, after all, almost as tiny as Baby Pink Tablet. But when I'm out and about, I can pick up wi-fi anywhere there's a signal, and if I can't, there are still games and such. I have full access to the Android market, so basically anything you can get on a Droid I can get on this tablet (except things that involve phone or camera functionality).

My favorite feature, however, is the e-book reader! Here you can see my bookshelf (ok, just the very top of my bookshelf; I've downloaded about a thousand books so far...).

I'm currently reading The War Of The Worlds by H. G. Wells.

The e-book program has direct links to several online book databases, and you would not believe the amount of free reading material is available. It'll be years before I make it through the books I've downloaded already! The other amazing thing is the battery life. If I turn the wi-fi off, I can read all day at work and barely use any of the battery. This thing is way more awesome than I thought it would be when I ordered it!

The funny thing? We ordered it from Hong Kong, and the plug was the kind to plug in in Hong Kong. So we went to Radio Shack to see if there were an adapter...there was but HOLY CRAP $35! We're ~~cheap~~ ~~thrifty~~ responsible with money, so Scott said he could make one. It's not pretty, but it works!

So at work, instead of blogging in my spare time, I've been reading. And playing Sudoku.

Addicted.

Dear Scott...

2011-05-11T11:40:00.000-06:00

Dear Scott,

Today is our four year anniversary. Four wonderful years ago today, I looked at you and smiled while I said, "I do". I still do! You're awesome! I'm so happy to be with you.

Scott, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. You light up my life. You're so sweet, always thinking of me and how you can make my life better. You know exactly what makes me me and how to deal with it when I'm being silly (read: unreasonable, stubborn, bratty, snippy, etc.). You never make me feel bad about myself, my opinions, or anything I do. You're always supportive and you want me to be happy more than anything in the world. I want you to be happy, too, more than everything ever.

You share laughter with me, and sometimes sadness, but I love you no matter how I'm feeling (which is good, you know, because my emotions tend to go a little nuts every now and again...). I find every new day exciting and fun, as long as I'm with you.

How did I get so lucky? Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve someone as amazing as you are. You really are something special, and I hope you know that. You're the best person I know, and you make me want to be a better person. That's pretty magical.

Thank you for all you do for me, and for listening to me, and loving me, and cherishing the moments we spend together (even when we're just going grocery shopping or something).

Last night I asked you what you wanted to do today. "Same thing we do every night, Pinky!", you said. That made me smile. But let's go out to dinner, ok? Maybe I'll even put on makeup.

Love always,
Anna

I Had Like Four Cookies Today

2011-05-06T19:04:00.001-06:00

Today is International No-Diet day.

I know diets don't work in the long-term. I know they aren't healthy. I also know I just don't have the willpower to stick with one. I did at one point, but obviously the weight I lost didn't stay off (well, I'm still a little lighter than my heaviest weight...). Still, I just wish I could find something that would make the weight fly right off. I tell you what, if meth were legal...and didn't make your teeth fall out...

I was thinking about it today. Why do I want to lose weight so badly?

I would feel successful. I would feel like I had some measure of control over my own body.
I am a little bit concerned about how the extra weight affects my body: the health of my systems, the pressure on my joints, and the ability to go through my daily activities with sufficient stamina.
I don't want people to look at me and assume I have no self-control, or am lazy (which, truthfully, is often true). I just don't want to be judged based on my "outside", when most of what I have to offer other people is on my "inside" (Not my guts. Those aren't useful to anyone but me.).
But let's face it: the biggest reason is the way I look. Now, just so you know, I don't usually care if other people are attracted to me or whatever (except Scott). It's all about ME. When I look in the mirror and I don't find MYSELF attractive, I get depressed.

Yeah. It's 10% the first three, and 90% the last one.

Why should I care how I look? I shouldn't. I don't wear makeup or anything, but I always look neat and clean, and that should be enough. But the way I was raised, both by my own parents and by society, has warped my ideas about personal appearance into something ugly and hurtful.

From the moment Mim married Jason, he told me and Kwiddens we were fat. We were six and four years old. Mim, having had an eating disorder herself, passed it on to us. I don't blame her for this (well, not entirely...). If you're raised a certain way, and this way of life is ingrained into you so deeply, there's often little you can do to prevent passing it on to your children. Add in the fact that she wasn't medicated yet, and that Jason was emotionally abusive, and I'm not surprised she wasn't in a position to change things for the better.

But what kind of a man tells a four year old she's fat?

Anyway...new topic: Scott.

Scott is amazing. Scott is an angel. I never thought I could ever meet anyone who would love me just the way I am. The only reason he cares about my weight is because he knows I care about it and he wants me to be happy. He thinks I'm beautiful, inside and out.

So if I don't need to get skinny for Scott, or for other people, it's just for me.

But do I really need it?

You guys, I freaking love food. It's one of those things that I truly enjoy, every single day.

So why should I deprive myself of something that really makes me happy?

Now, tomorrow I will wake up and change my mind, and feel terrible for everything I ate today.

5,000 Questions: Part 2

2011-05-03T18:34:00.001-06:00

21. Are you more of a giver or a taker?
Giver for sure. I love giving people my time, gifts, money, anything to help my loved ones be happy and healthy.

22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind?
I try to. It's hard sometimes when you're so hard-wired to think a certain way, though. I find that the older I get, the more open-minded I become, and the more liberal, too. Don't tell my parents.

23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you?
Getting a tattoo on my wrist hurt pretty badly. Carpal tunnel hurt pretty badly before I got surgeried.

24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you?
If anyone wants to know this specifically, they can ask, but it's too personal for here (for now, at least).

25. Who have you hugged today?
My amazing husband! I think. I'll hug him later for sure.

26. Who has done something today to show they care about you?
Scott knew I was feeling terrible today from not getting any freaking sleep last night so he made me dinner. It consisted of pouring some Kashi into a bowl and adding milk, but now I know he loves me and doesn't want me to starve.

27. Do you have a lot to learn?
Duh.

28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be?

A. I'd love to be able to play either the acoustic guitar (so I can finally steal Mim's Ibanez) or else learn to play the piano again.

B. I'd love to be able to speak another language. Probably Spanish, since so many people around here speak it, and I used to know the language pretty well, but it turns out, once you stop studying it and using it completely, it kinda just leaves your brain.

C. COOK AMAZING DELICIOUS CALORIE-FREE THINGS!

29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel?
WOW, that's a tough one. I mean, how people make me feel is a direct result of what they do and say. I do have a very good memory for remembering what people say, I suppose.

30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship?
Complete trust, communication about everything, and having your own, individual hobbies and alone time.

31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die?

A.  Design and build my very own home for us to live in, not just a flip.

B.  Get to a normal body weight permanently.

C.  Get back to South Dakota and see old friends.

32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing?

A.  I think this question is silly.

B.  The point of living is to not die.

C.  So if there's something I don't want to do, I'll just not do it.

33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause?
Spreading awareness about the realities of mental illness.

34. What does each decade make you think of:

The 19..

20's: Flappers

30's: Dirt

40's: Pinup girls

50's: I have no idea

60's: The moon

70's: Hair bands

80's: Big hair

90's: Being a kid

2000's: School

2010's (so far): Marriage

35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why? Um...the 2000's, I think. my schooling, then my marriage in 2007, were essential in forming me into what I am today.

36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song? Um, I suppose "More Than A Feeling" by Boston. I just love it for no particular reason.

37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country?
USA, Obama

If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be?
Thank you for trying to create positive change. You're a breath of fresh air.

38. What's your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night?
If I can't sleep I usually surf the internet instead of watching TV. There's nothing on, you know?

39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why?
Gaston, because I'm so vain. Just kidding. I have no idea.

40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout?
No. Mim was anti-Girl Scouts because they weren't anti-gay. Sad, I know. Mim and I are the same a lot of the time, but this is one thing about which we have completely opposite opinions.

Cable Spaghetti

2011-05-02T08:52:00.002-06:00

Scott and I are a perfect match. One of the wonderful things we share is the love of organization!

This past Saturday Scott needed to go in to work to reorganize the servers and such. It needed to be done when the office was closed so he could disconnect all the networks and phones. I didn't want him to be lonely, so after I went and had my hair done I picked up lunch and came to keep him company. I ended up being a big help, too, because he was having to do all the work and keep track of what everything was at the same time, and once I got there I could keep records of what was connected to what, and then read it all back to him when it was all taken apart.

So here's one of the server stacks before:

Nasty, huh?

Anyway, here it is after Scott stripped all the cables. That took HOURS because they were so tangled. Every few minutes I heard a "Damn it, so-and-so, why did you do it like this?!", but mostly it went smoothly (it just took time). There were a few cables he couldn't undo, such as the firewall cables, so we had to work around those.

The next few hours were spent rewiring everything. WHAT A JOB. We got everything run very neatly, in nice bundles, with NO TANGLES.

Once everything was all organized we just had to put the shields over the cables and can you even believe how neat this looks?!

Here's another server stack that is now organized (trust me, I know it looks like a spaghetti factory, but everything's bundled and color coded and OH BOY you should have seen it before Scott got his hands on it!):

Having things nice and neat just feels so...right.

It's So Short!

2011-05-01T10:35:00.003-06:00

I've been feeling totally blah lately. You know the feeling. I needed to spice something up, and I hadn't done anything to the hair for a while, so Friday night I decided I needed to do something. When I woke up Saturday morning I got on the internet and looked through tons of websites about what cuts are best for your face shape and such. I even found a site where I could upload a picture of myself and superimpose celebrities' hairstyles to see how they would look.

I finally decided on a layered, A-line, long bob. I spent the afternoon trying to get a good picture of it to send to Mim, and most of them kinda suck so I'll just post them all:

I think this picture looks the best (with it tucked behind my ears):

And here's the back, which looks funny here but it really is cut evenly, I promise!

It's one of those wash and wear cuts, so I still don't have to blow my hair dry every morning (WIN), but it's a little cute and a little flirty and I feel a little...refreshed, I suppose.

Now I just have to grow it out (Scott prefers long hair) (don't worry, he still thinks I'm pretty).

And then in another year maybe I'll go get another haircut...

Also, it's a new, auburnish color, but you can't really tell in these pictures. Someday maybe I'll get a good camera instead of just using the one on my phone...

Bath Tub Bebby!

2011-04-30T18:32:00.000-06:00

Since it's been a while since we've seen some Nyah pictures, and she's getting so big, here we go!

We even have a theme today!

Check out the fugly bath tub in Kwiddens's apartment:

Fortunately, it has now been resurfaced.

She's going to kill me someday when she turns into a moody teenager and finds out I posted pictures of her naked all over the internet...

Oh Look, More Pills...

2011-04-28T20:32:00.000-06:00

So I'm just going to quickly update you all on my medical conditions as of late. Because you totally want to know. Ok, really, because I feel like complaining to a sympathetic audience.

A few weeks ago I had my sinus apocalypse, then I took antibiotics, and after a full course, it has mostly cleared up. Mostly. I think what's left is just allergies. The headaches are gone, so I'm happy about this. WIN.

Easter Sunday we decided to go get a late lunch at Red Lobster. I don't think the food I ate was bad; I was probably just having a bad IBS sort of day, and, long story short, I spent all of Sunday night in the bathroom instead of sleeping. I had to take Monday off because I was so dehydrated, tired, and sore. FAIL.

I'm prone to getting UTIs when I get dehydrated, and I get dehydrated very easily, so I make it a habit to drink 3-4 liters of water every day (and yes, I prefer liters to quarts; I'm a scientist. I'd completely switch to metric if it were up to me). HOWEVER, when you're in the bathroom that much, it doesn't really matter how much you drink. You're going to feel the effects of dehydration. So, I started having UTI symptoms on Monday. FAIL.

Sometimes when this happens, I can really push fluids for a few days (and take Azo in the meantime) and it resolves itself, but NOT THIS TIME.

Aside: taking antibiotics can cause yeast infections. This can happen at the same time as a UTI. EPIC FAIL.

You can see where this is going.

IT HURTS TO EXIST.

I went to the doctor today and got another course of a different antibiotic, plus Diflucan.

And that, my friends, was my day.

How was yours?

Drugs! Cheap!

2011-04-27T17:44:00.000-06:00

Scott works for a software company whose product is a web-based medication tracking system for assisted living and skilled nursing facilities. They work in the same building as, and as partners with, a pharmacy.

This is amazing.

Here's why:

Since the two companies work together (and are owned by the same group of investors), we get benefits! Whenever we need over-the-counter medications, like Tylenol or Benadryl or whatever, the pharmacy orders it in for us. We get it the next day, and it's at cost. That means that the pharmacy doesn't upcharge at all. They just make us pay for what they pay (wholesale price).

Here's an excellent example: I've been suffering from a number of symptoms the past few days, most of which I won't go into right now, but one of them is urinary pain. LOVELY. So, I needed some Azo. Walgreen's has a box of 32 for $9, but I got it from our pharmacy for $2. I FREAKING WIN.

And the pain's gone, too!

Seriously, like I really wanted a UTI right now.Again.

5,000 Questions: Part 1

2011-04-26T19:22:00.002-06:00

I found a 5,000 question survey! I'll be using this on occasion when I can't think of anything else to write (or when my entire body is being ridiculous and I'm too tired to think).

1. Who are you?
I'm Anna! I am a knitter, a chemist, a wife, a dog-mommy, a sister, and a daughter. I love science fiction, yarn, more yarn, music (especially Enya and Tori Amos), and my husband (actually, he's totally at the top of the list).
2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you?
I think diamonds are a waste of money, I sometimes have mood swings (so you better watch what you say to me) (just kidding, I'm medicated), and I will defend my loved ones to the death.
3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing?
I'm either at work, sleeping, yarning, and occasionally, exercising. Not so much the last one lately.
4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time).
I loved everything! I'm a huge nerd! I love learning! I even love homework (in moderation...). However, I always mega sucked at history...
5. What is your biggest goal for this year?
I want to get back in shape. I'm not optimistic.
6. Where do you want to be in 5 years?
Roughly where I am now, but with another house to flip and maybe another dog.
7. What stage of life are you in right now?
I'm in the HOLY CRAP I'M A GROWNUP stage.
8. Are you more child-like or childish?
Occasionally I'm child-like.
9. What is the last thing you said out loud?
"It's okay, sweetie!" (Scott tripped over my laptop cord and unplugged it)
10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now?
Um.
11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes?
Yes, actually. I took Karate when I was younger.
12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same?
I think some things get better, some get worse, and it all balances out. There were times in my life when things just kept getting worse and worse, but things are nice and steady now.
13. Does time really heal all wounds?
No. But it sure does help.
14. How do you handle a rainy day?
I don't "handle" it at all. I love rainy days! Rainy days mean staying inside with a blanket and hot cocoa, watching Stargate.
15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights?
It's the strangest thing, but I find untangling things to be very soothing. And I'm really good at it (especially yarn knots).
16. How is your relationship with your parents? Will you miss them when they are gone?
With Mim, things are fantastic. I'll just die when she's gone. With my dad, well...we just don't talk. I think when he's gone, unless things change, I'll feel a little bit sad, then move on.
17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you?
It depends on what I'm up to. Most of the time I'm a little oblivious...
18. What is the truest thing that you know?
I will always regret eating ice cream (intestinally, that is), but I will always eat it anyway.
19. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A chemist. Oh look, it worked!
20. Have you ever been given a second chance?
Too many times to count...and most of the time I'm sure I didn't deserve it.

But Kashi Is So Delicious!

2011-04-22T08:42:00.001-06:00

Lately I've almost let go regarding healthy eating. I say almost because I start off each week wanting to be healthier, so I pack lunches for Scott and myself so we won't go out to eat, where the portions are generally ridiculous and the healthy choices are rather limited. Then Thursday rolls around. Thursday is treat day at my lab, where we take turns bringing in something delicious to share. So on Thursdays, I know I'm going to have a treat, so I don't pack a lunch. Today was seven layer dip. Heaven. And then on Friday, I didn't pack a lunch the day before so I get lazy and think, "It's okay for us to go out for lunch. It's Friday!" Then, the weekend happens.

This isn't to say that we haven't been doing a lot better lately than we were before, especially on weekends, but still...I feel like there's work to be done.

Baby steps, right?

Anyway, along with the healthy-eating-half-of-the-time, I've been trying to see my body in a more positive light. When I went clothes shopping a little while back, I bought clothes that were actually my size, which is a big deal for me. I had put off buying clothes for the longest time because I was thinking, "I'll buy clothes when I've lost weight. That way, I won't have wasted money on clothes that are too big for me later." The problem is, obviously, that I haven't lost the weight. I'm starting to think maybe I won't. And if I do, it's going to take a damn long time, so I should probably avoid nakedness in the meantime.

It blows my mind that on different days I can look in the mirror and see two completely different people. Some days, like today, I look in the mirror and see someone who, yes, could stand to lose some weight, but really isn't as big as she feels like she is. A few days ago I was in the bathroom at work and looking in the mirror and I wanted to see how big I really looked, because we all know that when you look in the mirror you see yourself as bigger than other people see you. So, I took a picture of myself with my phone. I didn't look as big as I thought I did. And that felt good.

Then, I have those days when I avoid mirrors, because I feel like if I see myself I'll be tempted to starve myself or exercise obsessively or something else that would do more harm than good.

I've been better about bingeing lately. I've tried to avoid eating when I get upset, and I'm trying to listen to my body and let it tell me when it's hungry. It seems like my problems are no longer emotional, but habitual. Now that things in my life are pretty good (well, there's always something, but it's all relative), I don't feel upset very often at all. But I've been so used to eating inappropriately pretty much my whole life that it's habit now. I eat too much. What I eat isn't all that unhealthy most of the time, but eating Kashi GoLean (YUM) in the mornings isn't going to help as much if I'm eating twice as much as I'm supposed to. I just love feeling full. And I feel hungry all the freaking time, no matter if I undereat or eat normally. I don't know how to stop that.

I suppose all this means that my eating disorder has morphed into a new kind of monster.

The sad thing about all this is that I have no idea when it started. I do remember one time in seventh grade, weighing 80 pounds, and looking in the mirror while I was wearing my swimsuit and absolutely loathing myself because of how "big" I was. I was 11 years old. And I know there are women out there for whom it started even earlier than that.

Pollen? Virus? Who Knows?

2011-04-21T11:35:00.000-06:00

At first it seemed like the antibiotics were working. I felt like I was clearing out, and it was a whole new world of smells, let me tell you. I drove to work and the second I stepped into the building I was caught completely off-guard by the intensity of the stench. Usually, I can smell it a little bit for a few minutes, but then my nose gets used to it and I don't smell it any more, but now that stuff can actually get in there to get smelled, WOW, I had forgotten how smelly my lab was. No wonder Scott keeps asking me to take a shower.

Anyway, so it seemed like I was clearing up, but now I'm just not so sure. I'm still taking Sudafed constantly, and it helps a little, but I can't take it at night because it keeps me awake, so by the time I wake up in the morning I'm miserable all over again. So I'm thinking that it's either viral or allergies, both of which antibiotics don't help at all. LAME. And my intestines are just so pleased about taking them, too.

So what am I supposed to do? Sudafed until I die? Cleansing my sinuses (yuck) didn't seem to help at all (plus it was unpleasant), and there doesn't seem to be anything else I can do. So, I'm permanently snotty, I suppose. Lovely.

It's Like Wearing Clouds

2011-04-18T09:27:00.000-06:00

I actually finished these a few weeks ago, but as you've probably noticed, I'm not blogging a whole lot lately. BUT, here they are! The lovely knee socks! Now, I have no idea when I will ever have occasion to wear these, but I think they're gorgeous so I kinda don't care.

These took a LONG time, but I really liked the project most of the time. I did have a couple of weeks in the middle where I didn't want to work on them, but once I got the hang of the pattern they actually went pretty quickly.

I did make a few modifications to the project: I added an extra repeat in the calf and added an extra decrease as well (apparently the pattern was written for very short people with tiny calves), and I continued the pattern onto the foot (but without the bobbles, so they would fit inside shoes more comfortably) instead of ending it at the ankle. They're really soft and silky (probably because there's silk in them...).

Now that these are out of the way, I've started a pair of purple socks for Kwiddens and a sweater that might be for me, but might be for Mim, because I can't decide if I'm selfish or not. I'm making it in a dark teal color. It's going to take forever...

Neti Pot Nast

2011-04-13T13:49:00.000-06:00

Yesterday after work I sucked it up and made a doctor's appointment. Fortunately, they were able to get me in that afternoon, so I didn't have to wait or pay a higher copay to go to Instacare. The doc I saw was really nice. I always like when they're nice. Anyway, he confirmed that I do, in fact, have a textbook sinus infection, and gave me some antibiotics to try. He said it might be viral, though, in which case they won't help me at all. I'm crossing my fingers. I'm to keep taking Sudafed and he gave me a Neti Pot to try...

Um, eew.

Cleaning out my nasal passages? AWFUL. First of all, it feels like when you're in the swimming pool and you get chlorinated water up your nose and it burns and burns and burns and you feel like you might as well die because it would hurt much less. Then, after it's done and drained out and all that, I continued to feel like I was drowning in a chlorinated pool until I went to sleep an hour later (and falling asleep while your nasal passages are burning takes a lot longer than you'd think).

I have a sneaking suspicion that if I use distilled or filtered water next time it might be a bit better, but I'm still very grossed out and I did not enjoy the sensation one bit. And to top it all off, I didn't really feel like it helped all that much. The pressure in this case is mostly in the forehead and eye sinuses, not so much the nose ones, and the Sudafed takes care of the nose ones. BUT, I'll try it again tonight because I am so desperate for some relief. These headaches NEED to stop or else I'm going to have to TP that doctor's house.

Can you believe some people do this to their nose every single day? Nutters, the lot of them.

Anyway.

So: antibiotics. Lovely. I'm sure my IBS will be very happy about this for the next 10 days...

Can I Go Back To Sleep Yet?

2011-04-12T11:35:00.000-06:00

Earlier this year (maybe January or February sometime) I had a little cold. It wasn't terrible; I still went to work. I was just extra tired and more than a little snotty (TMI, too bad). The cold went away soon enough but the snot lingered. Lovely.

This happens every year. I get some sort of mild bug, and then when the rest of me is just fine again my sinuses hold on to the bug like it's going out of style. I deal with it for a couple of ~~weeks~~ months and then finally suck it up and go to the doctor. I take a course of antibiotics and VOILA, I'm good to go (until next year...).

The problem is that this time I'm not sure if that's what it is. With the bizarre spring-winter-spring-winter-spring-winter-spring-HAHA FOOLED YOU-winter that the weather has been doing, I'm wondering if it might just be allergies. I'm allergic to everything. I take Claritin every day, year-round, and it takes care of most of my symptoms, but in the spring it gets a little worse with the pollen. I can deal with that. But this is a little more extreme...and the weather's been a little ridiculous...so is it allergies or a sinus infection?

I'm taking Mucinex around the clock. I'm having a hard time sleeping at night, and so my days are all a little hazy (unless I amp up on massive amounts of caffeine). Mostly, I'm tired of the headaches.

I KNOW it's my sinuses; I just don't know why. If I go see a doctor and it is an infection, I get pills and go on my merry way, but if it's allergies, there's nothing they can even do and I've gone and wasted a co-pay. Lame.

Shopping Just...Sucks: Scott To The Rescue

2011-04-09T10:40:00.001-06:00

Where was I?

Oh yeah, sobbing hysterically in my bed.

I cried for a while. I don't even know for how long. But I had stopped by the time Scott got home from work. He came upstairs and said, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Hiding..."

"From me?"

"No, from the world..."

"Did you go shopping?"

"Yeah...I bought a bra...and then I lost it in the middle of the mall."

And then everything came pouring out, and Scott, being the superhero that he is, told me to take half a Klonopin and then he would drive me around to other stores and be there for moral support while I tried again. I took my magic "calm the heck down, dude" pill, and waited a little while for it to kick in, and then off we went.

We looked through one store...no luck. But I felt better, because I was half-stoned, and because I had my very best friend there, who loves me very much no matter what I'm wearing, just following me around with the cart. In the next store, I found a shirt (green polo with pockets, so not really "fashionista" but still not a tee shirt)! It fit! It looked good! It was even on sale! We went to Famous Footwear next, and I found the perfect pair of shoes, also on sale! We went to Ross next and I found TWO shirts(one black tank with asymmetric shirred details all over, and a striped tank with an attached black sweater)! We went to Kohl's next and I found another shirt (spring green, fitted, collared)! We went to Walmart and got underpants and socks and another pair of jeans (that actually fit) and I was done for the night.

Conclusions:

Scott is not only a superhero, but my good luck charm.
Malls suck. Outlet stores are awesome.
Maybe I should start wearing makeup, too...

Now, the question is: am I brave enough to try again?

Shopping Just...Sucks: Panic Attack

2011-04-08T11:15:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I cried. I cried harder than I remember crying in years and years and years. I was sobbing so hard I could barely breathe, and I felt like crying wasn't even expressive enough for what I was feeling.

Rewind:

I hate clothes shopping. I've been putting it off for a long, long time. All my clothes I wear now are pretty worn out, or don't fit, or I just don't like them anymore. I have nothing nice to wear, since my wardrobe consists of tee shirts and jeans. We have a family thing to go to this weekend, so I knew it was time. Scott was encouraging me to go shopping, and wanted me to get anything I wanted or needed, because let's face it: I'm a grownup, and I need to dress like one. Tee shirts and jeans are fine for working in my lab, because I hate wearing a lab coat and my clothes often take a beating. But after work and on weekends, I really need to put a little more effort into my appearance. I really should start wearing some makeup, but I need to take this one step at a time.

So yesterday morning, I made a plan. I psyched myself up to where I was excited about it. I knew what stores I wanted to hit, and roughly what I wanted to get at each one.

Right after work, I started at Victoria's Secret. I knew this would be fine, because I knew what I wanted, and it only took about 20 minutes to get in and get out of there with what I needed.

It was after that that my problems started.

I've been to Downeast Basics before and found shirts I really liked there, so I didn't anticipate any problems. I made the mistake of going to the one in the mall instead of the other, larger one in my town, so there wasn't much of a selection there, and that was a bit discouraging. Oh well, I had the entire mall left, right?

Next I planned on going to Maurice's. Everyone I've talked to has said their jeans are awesome, and I wanted to get one nice pair of jeans for weekends. Like, a pair I would spend more than $15 on. I had been on their website earlier in the day, and there were so many cute things that I was planning on trying on. I walked around the whole store, and all the things I liked only went up to a size large. Boo. So, I tried on jeans. I like higher-rise jeans, because all the lower ones show too much bottom in the back (I have yet to find a pair of jeans anywhere that doesn't have this problem to some degree). So I grabbed a pair of their highest-rise jeans, and oh look, my butt was hanging out the back. Suck. So that was the point where I started feeling...panicky. It wasn't too bad; I was able to hide it from all the people around me.

I stopped in to a few more stores, and there were a few places that had shirts I loved, but once again, they didn't have my size. Finally I took a deep breath and went into a plus-size store, hoping their smallest size wouldn't be too big. I didn't even try anything on; everything in there looked like grandma clothes, and I'm only 25, so...yeah. All this time the panicky feeling was getting a bit worse.

I was parked outside of Macy's, so I headed back there, and decided to stroll through the clothing section there, and same thing...and at that point I lost it. I felt like tears were about to come, and I was getting short of breath, so I all but sprinted out to my car, and as soon as I was in with the door shut I just started sobbing. I couldn't stop. It was awful. I just wanted to get home as soon as I possibly could, so I drove home (fortunately only about a mile away), let Buster out, and then went up to my room and just collapsed.

I couldn't find things in my size. Most stores had XLs, but just not in the specific shirts I was interested in. My main problem is my chest. I'm big-busted, and clothing manufacturer's don't take into account the fact that as women get bigger, their chests get bigger, too, so all the things I was able to get my chubby self into were completely wrong proportion-wise.
I was in several dressing rooms. Dressing rooms, as we all know, have terrible, harsh lighting, and they're small, so you're right up in front of the mirror, and I was feeling particularly bloaty, and I looked at my giant stomach and hated myself more and more by the minute.
I went shopping right after work, so I was in my work clothes, meaning jeans and a tee shirt, and my hair was up in a plain ponytail, and I wasn't wearing makeup, and when I came into each store, instead of asking what they could help me with, all the associates seemed to be...ignoring me. Now, maybe this was all in my head, but I couldn't help but feel like I was being ignored because I wasn't looking "fashionable". Ironically, I probably had deeper pockets than most of the pretty girls they were helping.
My plan wasn't working. The specific stores I went to for specific things didn't have the specific things I wanted. When I make a plan, I need things to fall into place, or it adds to my frustration.
It all felt so hopeless. I hate my body. I know I haven't been doing the things necessary to get it where I want it to be, such as eating well and going to the gym, but I'm just so depressed about it that I feel like I don't even have the motivation to try. A small part of me doesn't care, and thinks it shouldn't matter what I look like, and that part has been taking over lately. But not yesterday. Yesterday the part of me that just wants to starve myself came out, and that didn't help at all.

All these things together were what made me lose it in the middle of the freaking mall.

To be continued...

It's Eclectic!

2011-04-02T22:01:00.000-06:00

On weekends, I generally feel incoherent, so this is what you get.

This past week was awful at work because my ICP-MS was acting like it had suddenly grown a massive tumor on its motherboard (if it even has a motherboard) (maybe it was on the octopoles, I know it has those). Nothing that it was doing made ANY sense whatsoever. Usually when something's wrong it talks to me, and depending on what it tells me I can diagnose it and fix it and we're on our merry way again, but this time NO, it made no sense at all. I spent an entire two days trying to figure out what what going on, and by the end of the second day I was in tears (it doesn't help that I broke a nebulizer, which is expensive). I left work and when I got back in in the morning, my boss had magically fixed it. STUPID CONES, you didn't even tell me you were sick, so how was I supposed to know that you needed a bath?!
Maverik has a new magic milkshake robot. No joke. You stick in a prepackaged shake mixy thing, whatever flavor you want, and the robot makes it into a milkshake, and you can even choose how thick you want your shake! Scott didn't like his, but I liked mine just fine. BUT, $3 is a bit steep for a milkshake of that quality, even if it is mixed by a brand new super cool milkshake robot.
Petsmart had adoptions today, and we've been thinking for a while about getting Buster a friend. We saw one dog we really liked, and when we took her out of her crate she immediately fell in love with us, and according to her profile she was already housebroken, and very docile, and very smart, and she even looked like Buster a little bit (fluffy face, etc.). So, we went home and got Buster to see if he would get along with her. I think after a little while Buster would have been fine with her, but as soon as she saw Buster she lost it. This wasn't "Oh, you're a strange dog, I think I'll bark"; this was "I will kill you. I will rip you apart, starting with your jugular. I will bathe in your blood. I will eat your soul!" I mean, this was some pure hatred we witnessed. So...we tried a different dog, and after a few minutes they didn't mind each other, but apparently this one needs to be crated when people aren't at home or else he'll rip your whole house apart. Since I don't believe in crating dogs, we passed on this one. Oh well. It was a nice thought. (I'm disappointed, because the first dog was seriously the sweetest thing and I fell in love right away. Boo.)
There's a woman at work who is apparently very reserved, but I didn't know that, and I thought she didn't like me. I was told, however, that she was talking about me the other day and was saying that she thought I was just so sweet. This made my day. Actually, it made my week.
Why does driving home after work on Friday feel different than driving home after work any other day?
I went through a brief non-knitting stage this past week. I think I was just so upset about work that I couldn't focus on anything in particular, and the gorgeous knee socks I was making require constant attention. I'm past this phase, though, and I'm in the middle of the foot now, so I'm back on track. I really need to finish this pair so I can start a pair I promised Kwiddens like a year ago, so I can then use the sock yarn I bought that is lots of colors and so soft and squooshy!
I have an inexplicable crush on Bam from Jackass. I can't explain it; I just think he's adorable.
I desperately need to go clothes shopping, but I don't have the money right now. I get paid on Thursday though, so I think next weekend is going to be a shopping weekend. Oh, how I hate shopping!
We had yearly reviews at work. I did just fine, and got my raise. I also got this rocking hoodie with our lab's logo embroidered on it. I think maybe I was supposed to have been wearing it at work, but I took it home so it would stay nice. Scott then called me a nerd. I probably deserved it.
I think in the Zombie Apocalypse, Scott and I would be just fine. We're both really good with guns, and we've seen enough zombie movies to not make the same stupid mistakes everyone else does.

Electrons DO Exist. Really.

2011-04-01T17:19:00.001-06:00

One of my favorite classes in college was second semester p-chem, taught by Dr. A. It was basically an intro to quantum mechanics (and the first chem class I took in college was an intro to an intro to quantum mechanics...).

For those of you who don't know, quantum mechanics is a freaky, freaky thing. In order to understand it, you have to take giant leaps of faith and know some ridiculously complicated math, but once you get there, you feel this strange mixture of awe and confusion.

Anyway. Dr. A. was very good at teaching this, and very entertaining, which is a must when you're wandering into the realm of astoundingly bizarre weirdness. One of my classmates recorded many quotes and compiled them at the end of the semester, making a copy for every student. I came across my copy while I was cleaning out my yarn closet a little while ago and thought it might make for a good post, so without further ado:

Dr. A.'s Pearls of Wisdom

"Quantum mechanics doesn't care about classic forbiddeness."

"If you know the answer, it makes it a lot easier to solve for it!"

"Now that we have a family of functions, all we need are some dependents. Oh my goodness, is it tax time already!?"

"We cannot exactly solve for the orbits of the planets around the sun, but we can get good enough that we can crash a probe into Saturn."

"Finding energies and Eigenvalues is all a matter of letting others do the work!"

"Aromaticity is shorthand for not wanting to do the quantum mechanics."

"Quantum mechanics is all about cheating...that's not to say that p-chem class is all about cheating..."

"...Then they developed mode-selective chemistry, which sort of almost works."

"It is kind of breaking the rules, but not in a bad way..."

"Virtual isn't that different from pretend."

"Don't ever try to look up these postulates anywhere, because I invented them last night."

"E to the negative big goes to 0!"

Student: "Wait! I just had an epiphany: electrons don't exist!"
Dr. A.: "No, they do exist."

Dr. A.: "With this approximation, we're 38% wrong."
Student: "Doesn't that mean we're 62% right?"

"Since we only have a two-dimensional projector, we're going to throw away some dimensions."

"I wasn't going to be happy with the number 50, but then I remembered that 1 + 4 = 5!"

"Next year I'm going to find a way to teach symmetry so it doesn't suck so bad."

"Symmetry's all about making tables of things."

"Quantum mechanics ultimately only cares about squares."

"Always the right Hamiltonian is going to be...the right Hamiltonian..."

"Rotational spectroscopy is sort of a boutique industry..."

Student: "When is an electron in a hydrogen atom in a p orbital?"
Dr. A.: "If you put it there."

"SE is a method in which we decide to trade off reality for convenience."

"6.022 x 10^23: it's actually something you'd name an internet search company..."

My Husband Is Better Than Yours

2011-03-31T07:46:00.016-06:00

Yesterday was an awful day. Bad, bad, bad. Work sucked, and I hadn't slept the night before because I was worried about work, and I was exhausted and things just kept going from bad to worse. I was on my feet for ten hours straight and forgot to take a lunch break. I was on messenger, so Scott was aware of how bad my day was.

So when I got home, here's what happened:

I walked in the door and puppy attacked me with love and kisses. I sat down on the couch and Scott pulled me over and snuggled with me while I told him all about my crappy day. Then he told me to pick a restaurant, and he took me out to Zupas for dinner. We got home and he made me go take a hot bubble bath and read my book about particle physics and the Big Bang (light reading, you know), and when I got out of the tub he gave me a massage.

He had gone online and read lots of articles about massage, so he had a candle that smelled great burning, and some background noise like little birds chirping, and pomegranate body butter, and he rubbed my back and my feet and my shoulders, where I carry all my tension. He even rubbed my temples. I was so relaxed! Then I took a Tylenol PM, internetted for a while, and went to bed early.

I think I can handle work today.

I hope.

Now I Can Actually Find The Hammer

2011-03-30T08:25:00.001-06:00

While I was upstairs organizing the yarn closet, Scott and Jorg were downstairs organizing all the tools.

Before:

After:

They're all in little bins according to what they're for. There's a bin for electrical, one for drywall, one for plumbing, one for sanding...you get the idea.

We also did a lot of cleaning in the rest of the house, so our spring cleaning/organizing is now basically done. HAPPY!

Order Amid The Chaos

2011-03-29T08:24:00.001-06:00

The weekend before last Jorg came up to stay with us for a few days and we put him to work. While he and Scott were downstairs organizing The Tools, I was upstairs organizing my yarn/book closet.

I didn't take any before pictures because, well, it was embarrassing. But here are all my books on one shelf:

And here is most of my yarn:

It's sorted by weight. The top container has sock and lace weight yarns, all organized in zip bags to keep them all clean and organized. The bottom container has all my heavier weight yarn and novelty yarn. There's another bin underneath the bookshelf with all my baby yarn and a few specific projects in bags. It's all where I can find it, and I organized all my knitting books as well.

You have no idea how much better I feel now that this is in order...

And I even got Scott to organize the other side of the closet, which has computery things and games.

He's A Totally Different Dog

2011-03-28T08:22:00.000-06:00

Buster has had his annual haircut:

I love that his tail wags so quickly that it's a blur.

He feels like velvet.

The Great Cupcake Failure Of 2011

2011-03-26T18:44:00.000-06:00

Near Kwiddens's apartment is a tiny little cupcake bakery. We decided to try it out, so we split three kinds: red velvet with cream cheese frosting, chocolate with vanilla frosting, and tiramisu.

WOW. What a disappointment. The red velvet was devoid of flavor, and the frosting was too cheesy. The chocolate was unimpressive, and the vanilla frosting had a strange, chemical taste to it. The tiramisu was delicious, but it was too strong, overwhelmingly so, so I could only eat a few bites before I was feeling sickish. To top it all off, all three were dry and crumbly.

This did NOT satisfy the need for baked goods.

Sometimes You Need A Dose Of Cute Baby

2011-03-25T10:50:00.001-06:00

Check out this snoozy little love-bug:

And, wearing Mim's glasses (with Mim's blanket in the background!):

Cleaner Dishes! Finally!

2011-03-22T18:56:00.000-06:00

Since we just bought a new dishwasher and plan on buying more kitchen appliances in the future, we wanted to protect our investment and get a water softener. I also wanted to get rid of the spots on my dishes, and installing one would raise the value of the house. Win!

So we went to Home Depot and looked at the water softeners. We just wanted the most basic one that would work for our house. We found the model we wanted for about $400, and then there was a little sign that said "We'll install it for $150!". So we asked for more details, and they said that they worked with another company, Superior, and that they would install something similar to the model we wanted at Home Depot for a comparable price. So, we decided to get a quote from them. While we were waiting, we called a few other plumbers and got quotes, one at $850 and one at $1300 (both higher than the $550 total from Home Depot). So we had Superior come into our house and test how hard the water was and give us a quote.

THEY TRICKED US.

The guy was basically a salesman, not a plumber, like Home Depot had implied. He tried to sell us a water softener, yes, but he also tried to sell us a water purification system and a new, tankless water heater ($5000) that we didn't want, need, or even have the money for. We tried to tell him this and get him to just give us a quote for what we wanted originally, and eventually, after showing the dude who was boss, he quoted us for $1900. No joke. Home Depot lied.

So we thanked him for his time and decided to do it ourselves.

The softener barely fit into our tiny little Focus:

Here's the brand new box:

This is the before picture:

This is the loop where we were going to hook in the softener. The house was already plumbed for it, fortunately, so we didn't have to do that. The soft water will go to the bathroom and the hot water in the kitchen (a.k.a. the dishwasher), but not the outside water taps or the cold water to the kitchen (which is where the fridge's water line is hooked in, so I won't drink softened water out of the fridge filter).

Scott had to extend the copper pipes and then tie them in to the softener:

We used PEX, which is a little bit flexible, which makes it way easier to work with. The problem was, we needed to hook up 3/4" PEX to the 1" nylon fittings coming out of the softener itself, and nobody in Home Depot could find anything in copper that would do that, but there was a galvanized fitting. Scott didn't want to use the galvanized fitting, but there wasn't anything else, so he figured he would use some Teflon tape and make it work.

No luck. We couldn't get it to stop leaking. At this point it was 9:00 on a Friday night, so Lowe's, or anywhere else that might have the right fitting, was closed. So we had to rig something up so we would be able to use the water that night until we could figure something out.

So the next morning Scott went to Lowe's and they didn't have what we needed, but he was able to find a plumbing store and they knew exactly what we needed. They also explained that the reason the galvanized fitting wasn't working was that the nylon threads were straight in and very precise, and the galvanized threads were cut less precisely, at a slight angle. Of course it leaked! So we got everything installed and the plumbing is all nice and neat:

And here is the after photo:

So nice!

At Least He Switched To Diet...

2011-03-21T08:22:00.001-06:00

Scott has a little Maverik problem...

We save and reuse the cups. Refills are less expensive and it helps the environment. That being said, we don't always have a cup on hand, so we do end up getting a new one every once in a while, so our collection continues to grow...

Of course, the maiden voyage of our dishwasher had to be a load of Maverik cups:

It's All About The Matching Handle

2011-03-19T20:44:00.000-06:00

As you know, part of the kitchen remodel is getting all new matching stainless steel appliances (so shiny!). We were planning on waiting until later to buy them all, since ours were working just fine, but I've been so fed up with the water spots and mineral deposits on my dishes, and even more with the dishes not even getting clean. I was ranting about it and Scott got up, put on his coat, and dragged me off to Home Depot, where we took the plunge and bought a new dishwasher.

Behold, my new lovely precious:

We had it delivered last Saturday, and Scott installed it himself, because he's brilliant and knows how to do everything. It looks SO SEXY:

There are some really awesome things about this dishwasher. One, it sings at you when it's finished! It's adorable! Two, the handle matches our cabinet hardware! Three, when it's on you can barely tell it's on because it's so quiet!

The new dishwasher will not solve our hard water problems, of course, so next we started the process of getting a water softener installed. More on that later!